


Mocking Bird

by Yifanning (Bambitae)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Asexual!Kyungsoo, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Sex worker!Baekhyun, Sexual scenes (mentioned), lots of description with birds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 16:35:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 37,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10167260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bambitae/pseuds/Yifanning
Summary: Dull lust sparking in damp, dim rooms is what Baekhyun thrived on; it's the vibrant velvet cocktail his body needed to feel good and forget for a while.  But he never knew holding hands with baby blue under lilac skies could do so much more; it loved him.





	1. (1/2)

**Author's Note:**

> Fic in a nutshell; snippets of present day and past filled with plot, fluff, angst, and domestic asf. Warning! This fic has some swearing and sexual scenes (mentioned). Also, I briefly went over it so apologies for mistakes with my grammar. (heads up baek is a lowkey bird fanatic).
> 
> I want to thank A for encouraging me!! I love he

"Dad, I think that guy just groped me," Hyun mutters as she skips a few steps across the sidewalk so she can bump her hip against her father's side, her hair and pastel pink skirt tread across the air as she does so; elegant like a swan prodding against a floral adorned lake with its ivory wings outstretched, however, if anything she's as rowdy as a copper rooster in the morning's grace.

 

"Wait, _what?"_   Comes Baekhyun's late response as he snaps his head up from his phone, thumbs still hover over the screen as he looks at his daughter while halting in place.  His attentiveness has recovered from the depth of his messages and he's now aware of his surroundings.  It's ninja sense if you'd ask him, but Kyungsoo calls it a snap back to reality.  Like a peacock, his feathers have unleashed in their full chartreuse and cerulean glory, he's ready to protect his baby fledgling

 

"Y'know," she says as she makes a grabbing motion close to her rear.

 

"Yes, yes I know what groping is," he huffs, and he's being honest, he knows tons about groping than the average person, but that's not something he'd say to his cute daughter, well, at least not yet.  He grabs his daughter's motioning hand and pulls it back to her side.  A frown and knitted brows etches onto his face as he turns back.  "Who's the trout I gotta’ swipe, flapper?"

 

"Dad, please just say _'who's the dude I must pummel?_ ' properly when we're in public," Hyun remarks as she turns and points at a man.  "Him."

 

The man seems to be in his early 20's due to the youth the bleeds from his smirk—quite cocky, Baekhyun's for sure he hates it, seems like the kind of guy that gets yelled at to get off an old man's lawn.  Baekhyun thinks if he approaches broadly he might have the upper hand of not getting uppercut first, but that's only if the pervert's squawk is sharper than his talons.

 

**Baeking cookies - Today at 11:37 A.M**

>>brb boutta punch this pervert into oblivion

 

**I'll Soo you - Today at 11:37 A.M**

>>Wait, what

>>Baek, no, violence is not the answer

 

**Baeking cookies - Today at 11:38 A.M**

>>cmon soo... ;((

>>but just so u know

>>he groped our baby girl

 

**I'll Soo you - Today at 11:39 A.M**

>>...

>>Go for it

 

"Alright, ya' old man got this one in the bag," he says as he rummages through his pocket to hand his wallet and phone to Hyun.  He then takes the first few steps of his conquest to approach the fucker, but after taking the first few paces he turns back so he can place his hands on her shoulders.  "But if I get knocked out cold I want you to run away with these and give them to papa so he can avenge me."

 

"What if I try to avenge you?"  Hyun asks, there’s a spark that sets itself in her eyes that soon lights into a blazing flame.  Kyungsoo isn't one to take bravery, or in this case the latter might call it impulsiveness, to such extent; he's the type to approach with intimidation and end things with hospitalization.  So, perhaps, she picked up this trait from Baekhyun himself.

 

"Sure.  Avenge me if I die, pumpkin'," He smiles as he ruffles her hair, laughing when she pouts and smacks it away (when she does that it means she likes it, that's why he's could get away with the fond gesture for years.).  "But if you get hurt, then, that means papa must dish out double the vengeance, so be careful," he cautions with a wag of his finger that brings itself closer to her before tapping the area in between her eyes.

 

Hyun grins as she raises his fist, knuckles directed to him.  "Knock em' out, dad!" 

 

Baekhyun smirks before pinching her cheek, only letting go before the instance she starts to whine, and leans back in to bump their fists together, the fist bump explodes into a finger wave until finally ending with firm hand shake.  He then turns around on his heels and approached the target.  His walk consists of strong, yet subtle strides as his hands sway gently by his side; so, does his necklace with the cardinal charm.  He's wearing ripped skinny jeans today and it's amazing in displaying his curves, he's also clad with a black shirt that's tight around his chest and biceps, although, they're probably not as tones as his boyfriend's.  He's sure plenty of heads have turned into his direction.

 

But stealing the crowd is always nice when it comes to teaching a lesson.  The smirk remains on his face and his eyes are lidded, and as he makes it to the culprit, who's flirting with another woman,—she's thin, that's for sure, not quite Baekhyun's type; he prefers a little more meat on them bones—he taps the man's shoulder to grab his attention. 

 

The man turns around and he eyes Baekhyun head to toe, a glint flashes in his eyes that's akin to interest and mischief—eyes of the predator, that's what Baekhyun would've play his cards for.  He's also considerably taller, so Baekhyun decided to puff his chest out a bit for good measure.

 

"Hey," he greets and he makes sure his voice carries a slight drawl, "you see that girl over there?"  He turns to point at his daughter from far off.  "You groped her, right?  With your nasty hands and shit?"

 

The man seems to be a bit startled by Baekhyun's strong approach, but he hides any of his recent falter with a chuckle.  "Yeah, so what if I did?  You're her boyfriend or something?  Look, man, it's all cool, I was just playing around," he grins, shit-eating is his kind of mojo, while leaning closer, "we don't have to make this any difficult then it needs to be."

 

Baekhyun can't help but scoff, he pushed his tongue against the side of his mouth, only a little peeks out from his lips, and corks his head to the side.  It's a challenging gesture, but he knows well that the predator likes the hunt, because without prey the predator is prey itself.  "No, I'm not her boyfriend, I'm quite flattered you assumed that, though," he says before leaning close to the man's ear and whisper, "but I wouldn't do that again if I were you."

 

The man withdraws and takes a few steps back.  "What would you do, huh?"  He asks, almost mocks.  "What could a pretty boy like you do?"

 

Baekhyun gives his knuckles a nice crack, he takes a few steps forward and lunges a punch right against the pervert's nose, and he guessed it was a pretty tough one as he heard a bone snap—dead center.  "That," he says, simple and there.  He turns around and prepares to walk back to his daughter; the untouchable fledgling.

 

"F-Fuck!  You motherfucker!"  He hears the man hiss behind him, "suck my dick!"

 

Baekhyun halts in place, the corners of his mouth tug upwards into a sugar-coated smile, and turns around to display it to the bitter guy.  "You'll have to pay first," and with that he turns back to approach his daughter, feigning ignorance to the eyes that follow his ascent.  "C'mon, let's go catch that cheerleading tournament," he chirps as he wraps an arm around her shoulder, "my little bird is about to snatch that gold medal."

 

Hyun nods as she hands back his stuff and reaches into her duffle back to pull out a white pompom so she can shake it.  "You know it."

 

«*»

 

Baekhyun went to a nightclub every day to pick up potential clients, and if he wasn't there then that meant he was working in the bed for his money.  It's not that bad of a job, Baekhyun reminded himself as he took the stack of money from the coffee table's counter.  It's good money, it is, well, better than working at a shitty part time job around the corner store in his quiet suburbs.  Although, the suburbs were only quiet if his folks were tired of yelling at him.

 

After having gathered all his belongings, which was only his clothes, bag, and an extra condom, he wobbled out of the humid apartment filled with muffled snoring of a man he doubts he'd remember until the next call.  As he shut the door behind him, he took the time to massage his inner thighs thoroughly before letting out hisses of pain as his back rested against the door. 

 

Everywhere on his skin that was touched ached; his thighs from being gripped and yanked too hard, his hips from the nails that dug into them, his ass from being fingered fucking dry (Baekhyun had protested it, but his persistent cries seemed to be nothing but turn-on fuel for his client), and the way he was slammed into forcefully with every pound he had to take.  He was given a towel to bite on and it was a miracle he didn't use the cloth to whack the shit out of his rough handler.

 

Although, he was given a vague heads up of what he was supposed to go through, but he never said no to a challenge—he practically never said no to anything.  That's probably why he's living a life like this.  He supposed now is the time to add 'rough sex' to his ban list before the next client thinks about tearing him in half.

 

Eventually, he was able to collect himself, and after doing so he hailed for a cab.  Once settled in the cab that smelt too much of incense, he turned his head to peer at the natural light that's known to be emitted from the moon's surface is blocked by an array of thick, dark grey clouds; like the seraphim that hides its face with their wings of humility.

 

The city lights that awoke after the break of dawn were splashes of colour onto his window; advertisements, traffic lights, and colourful signs all flickered in the blanket of night.  It may illuminate the dark but breeding shadows that lurked and clung was the cost.  It gave fear to the prey and a chance to the predator.  Baekhyun happened to be both on this night.

 

He often liked to think that the night is associated too much with evil.  He proposed that the night is thoughtful, caring even, for without night the day cannot rest, and it's without a doubt that the day itself brings many hardships.  The night does not give life to evil, evil creates itself, although, it just happens to be done when the light flickered off.

 

He rummaged through the pocket of his leather jeans and turned on his smartphone.  "10:33 P.M," it read.  He figured he could snatch one more deal while the night was still young.

 

"Here's your stop," said the taxi driver as he fingers tapped over the wheel, expectant.

 

Baekhyun payed no mind to say a word, he gave the man the money, and exited the cab.  After walking up the steps and unlocking the door to his apartment, he walked in and placed his money in drawer—a piggy bank of sorts.  He took only a few bills because tonight he didn't need much.  He then walked into the bedroom to re-touch his makeup.

 

He stared at his reflection in the round mirror that was placed on the dresser.  It's not true that he's satisfied with the person he saw in the mirror, probably felt as dull as he looked, but that's why he's going out tonight; to feel less grey and more red.  His hands slowly reached up to pat his cheeks, and they're more hollow than he could remember.  He should eat more, but nowadays he doesn't feel like he has the stomach, it's not that he's ill, though.  He felt sick with something incurable; the illness' definition made him want to vomit heartache.

 

He shook the thought away and raised his hands to pad his eyes.  The bags had become more prominent, darker.  But it's nothing a little bit of concealer can't hide.  He's heard that cucumbers can treat that, might as well try it even though he made a pledge never to go near such abomination.

 

Regardless, he opened his makeup kits and got to work.  He liked the smoky eye look, it gave him a strong, magnetic force that could pull anyone in just by gazing into his eyes.  But if he were to be honest, he believed that eyeliner was his strongest skill and weapon because, damn, he could do a killer wing.  But tonight was all about keeping things low, for he wasn't in the best shape to attract anyone arrogant.  So instead of a wing that could be sharp enough to cut, he decided on a simple outline.

 

After he finished, he scavenged through the pile of laundry and fished out his coat.  Once he swung it on, slipping his arms through the sleeves, he reached for his bottle of cologne and gave himself a few sprits, then he packed all he needed into his bag and walked out of the door.  His ghost following behind him with every step against the silver, shining concrete.

 

«*»

 

"Alright, you got this, just remember all the steps of your routine," Baekhyun preps up his daughter while rubbing her shoulders since he knows the gesture helps her calm down.

 

Hyun is finicky, bouncing her weight from one leg to another.  "Okay, okay," she says while gnawing on her bottom lip and rubbing her clammy palms together.  "Let's go through another check."

 

"Alright," Baekhyun nods.  "First, stop biting your lip and leave your hands at the side," he instructs and Hyun complies.  "Uniform and pompoms?"

 

Hyun adjusts the bow that kept her ponytail intact, bends down and picks the pompom off the ground before doing a twirl.  "Check!"

 

"Makeup?"  He asks while eyeing her face, like a madman he has one eye open and the other eye squinted, but he supposes the best kinds of people are nut-jobs, well, most. 

 

"Dad, I'm pretty sure it's fine," Hyun says as she smacks his wandered hand that pinched her cheek again.

 

"Yeah I know," Baekhyun agrees with a snicker, "that's because I did it."  He continues, "confident expression?"

 

She closes her eyes, takes in a deep breath, and flashes her award-winning smile and sparkling eyes.  The corners of her smile are wobbly; a clear sign that she's still anxious.  Baekhyun sighs as he rubs his thumb against her cheek, drawing small circles onto the rosy peaches.  She relaxes into the touch and composes herself again, this time her smile seems more genuine and brighter.

 

"Go get em'," Baekhyun encourages as he gives her a last-minute hug, she nods after their embrace breaks away and races from the bleachers to meet with her team.  A smile remains on his face even after Hyun moves further away from his sight.  He grabs his phone from his pocket.

 

**Baeking cookies - Today at 1:54 P.M**

>>i miss u ;(

>>how an i suppose to be the loudest cheer if i dont have u to hype me up

 

**I'll Soo you - Today at 1:57**

>>Baek, please, you're loud enough

>>You know I have to go to work

 

**Baeking cookies - Today at 1:58 P.M**

>>but its not the same ;(((;(;(;(

>>cant believe u chose middle schoolers over ur two honeybuns

>>ur missing a lot btw

>>daaaaaang look at Hyun's backflip n cartwheel n tower

>>wow she literally teleportted!!!!!

 

**I'll Soo you - Today at 1:59 P.M**

>>What are you talking about?

>>Her team hasn't even gone up yet

 

**Baeking cookies - Today at 2:00 P.M**

>>wait wAT

>>how do u know????

 

"Because I'm right here," comes the familiar, husky reply that flows right into his ear, the warm breath of air feels tingly against the lobe and it almost makes Baekhyun jump out of his seat.

 

Baekhyun whips around to point an accusing finger at the culprit, his finger comes close to stabbing he latter, but he's able to scoot back in time so the bloody hand of justice only boops his nose.   "You're supposed to be at work, mister!"  Baekhyun exclaims, retracting his hand just so he can shoot it out again and boop Kyungsoo's nose again.  He likes it, it feels squishy. 

 

"I didn't skip," Kyungsoo defends himself, takes the outstretched hand with his own, laces their fingers together, and sits down beside Baekhyun on the bleachers, "I found someone to supply for the last few periods," he says while bumping their knees together, "nice to see you too."

 

"Unbelievable," Baekhyun mumbles with a pout, he scooches over a bit so that their legs and arms are against each other.

 

"What?"  Kyungsoo asks with a chuckle, his voice is soft and feathery, but when it's combined with homebound richness it plucks all the strings on his heart's harp, making his mind to mush and clockwork jitter.  "I thought you wanted me to be here."

 

"I did," Baekhyun confirms.  He looks to the side and holds Kyungsoo's gaze, then he looks out into the field and scouts Hyun gathering with her team before they start.  His attention holds on out there, but he leans a bit so he can rest his head against the dip of Kyungsoo's shoulder.

 

Kyungsoo hums with content, presses a kiss against the crown of Baekhyun's head, and gives their interlocked hands a light squeeze on his part, a small smile plays on his lips as Baekhyun squeezes back.  There's a lot of words that were left unsaid, unwilling, unsure.  But he's happy that Kyungsoo listened to all of them.  As he looks down at their bare, intertwined hands he feels as if there's something missing to the masterpiece. 

 

Once the announcers read Hyun's team's name aloud, Baekhyun raises his hands to his mouth and hollers while Kyungsoo beams and applauds.  Hyun and her team all head out into the center within formation, and just before the pop music starts she's able to spot her parents.  Her smile widens as she notices Kyungsoo is there and waves to him while blowing a kiss in his direction.

 

"Argh!"  Kyungsoo shouts in mock pain, his eyes shut tight while clenching at the right side of his chest, "I’m wounded!"

 

"Your heart is on the left side," Baekhyun whispers.

 

"Argh!"  Kyungsoo switches his hand to the left side of his chest.  "I’m wounded!"

 

"No, sergeant!"  Baekhyun cries while shaking his boyfriend back and forth, by now he's sure everyone is giving them sour looks.  "Hang in there!  You can't leave me like this!" 

 

Kyungsoo gags again before letting himself go limp in Baekhyun's arms.  He opens his eyes slightly as he holds onto Baekhyun's hand.  "P-Please just... make sure Hyun never gets a boyfriend."

 

Baekhyun shakes his head with his lips pressed together into a thin line.  "I'll send her off to marry a broke intellectual-pseudo on the road that will tell her trees have feelings."

 

"God fucking dammit, Baek."

 

«*»

 

The warm embrace of night always brought solace whenever Kyungsoo's mind was in a state of weary.  Black's simple, there's no deep meaning for it and there doesn't have to be any, it's an untouched canvas that helps other colours, even white, shine on their own, because black is the selfless kind of colour.  It was his primary blob of paint that took up most of his canvas, save for other colours that scraped by his qualification; blue was something he personally associated as the gloomy days, but if you mixed it with a bit of white you'd get a nice baby blue that meant things would be okay after storm.  But on the night that embraced black to the fullest, he was not so sure if the shade will be of any use to calm his nerves.

 

"It's only gonna' be one night, you won't die," Sehun told him earlier before hailing the trio a cab.

 

"Yeah," agreed Junmyeon once they entered the vehicle, "we're celebrating your 22nd birthday, Soo!  A little party is the break you deserve from all that teacher's college."

 

Kyungsoo hadn't said anything, there was a lot of things he wanted to protest but the negative outweighed all and he wasn't one to crash the fun for his friends—his only friends, may he remind you.  But once they made it to the entrance of a nightclub with its trance music blasting loud enough for it to be heard from outside the building, he was ready to voice a piece of his mind.

 

"Really?  A club?"  Was all he had to utter, "You guys know I don't do hangovers, sweaty people, or neon lights.  It's even worse if they're all ganging up on me in one sitting."

 

"Relax, stop overreacting," Junmyeon chided as he gave Kyungsoo's shoulder a squeeze, "this club is the best in the city, I doubt even you couldn't enjoy it."

 

"But you do music regardless of volume," Sehun piped in with his finger guns, "and if not, then _'The Runaways'_ hits I heard from my apartment beside yours would be disappointed."

 

Kyungsoo wrinkled his nose, sure, he'd admit he does blast his music on full volume, but that privilege is reserved for _'Cherry Bomb'_.  "Okay, fine, I’ll hop on the bandwagon," he conceded but turned around and gave the cheering two a glare, "but if something bad happens, even the slightest thing that makes me uncomfortable, then you'll see me walking out of that exit pronto."

 

"Alright, fair enough," Junmyeon surrendered, "now let's go, boys!"

 

And with that, the trio flashed their ID's (no longer fake as they've come to the glorious age which they don't need to be crafty anymore) and strolled into the club.  As soon as the light from the exit had vanished from sight, a strong, sweet scent wafted into Kyungsoo's nostrils and it took all effort to restrain himself from covering his nose with his sleeve.

 

"I'll be at the bar," he said while waving to his friends who were already headed to the dance floor.  Once he sat down onto one of the stools near the countertop, he ordered himself something mildly alcoholic, he had intended to treat himself this night and he wasn't letting anything get in the way with that.  The backboard's mirror reflected the neon lights which bounced around, mirroring back a bomb of colourful fuzz onto the countertop. 

 

"Like the smell?"  Chimed in the sudden drawl of a voice—smooth like honey running on Kyungsoo's skin, leaving behind parts of itself that clung.

 

Kyungsoo turned his head to the owner of the voice, and just like that, time stopped its running, but only for a bit, because time waited for no one; not even for the foreign colour of vermillion that blended in with its rust.  But he had good reason for his interest to skyrocket, for his attention to be stolen by a mirage, and it's all due to the man that stood under luminescence lights.

 

Dangerous, subtly, but never less the same—that's what the stranger's eyes were with all that makeup that did wonders. Sure, if Kyungsoo's being honest the latter's eyes were the first thing that pulled him in, like the owl that dives into the blades of grass to pick up unsuspecting prey.  Curiosity is what drawn him even closer, and he supposed the stranger could tell for a shooting star of triumph crossed his lidded eyes under a raised brow.

 

"What?"  Came his late, but luckily no later, response.  His stare grew more confused at the stranger whose smile seemed to be growing.  He finally received his answer as the latter pointed to the sleeve that covered his nose.  "Oh," he murmured before removing the sleeve from place and resting it onto the wooden table. 

 

"Liquor, cologne, perfume, and sweat," the man remarked as he leaned his body against the countertop, his position was as such so his he could remain facing Kyungsoo, quite provocative.  "Welcome to the club!  Home to alcoholics and the troubled that wanna’ dance the night away. Always good to have newcomers," he voiced while propping his chin against the heel of his palm, his other hand rested on his hip.  "What brings you here?"

 

"Coming of age," Kyungsoo sipped his drink, wrinkling his nose at the satisfying burn the liquor left in his throat "persistent friends."

 

"Ahh, so that's how things are," nodded the man.  As the bartender approached him to take his order, he waved him off, "the usual, please." 

 

"I'll pay for that one," Kyungsoo offered, "how much is it?"  Once he was informed of the price, he reached into his wallet and placed some dollar bills onto the table.  "Keep the change."

 

"Wow, what a gentleman you are, paying for my drinks?  Close enough to seducing me," the man teased with a grin, but when Kyungsoo shook his head his grin faltered but still lingered.  He tilted his head.  "No?"

 

"No," Kyungsoo replied, his palms already felt clammy with the anxiousness that the stranger might get the wrong idea.  Seduction that might lead to heated romance all in one night?  No, he's not into that, definitely not.  Call him king vanilla but he'd rather do nothing than anything at all when it came to that.  With the thought of bodies pressing against each other in that way makes him feel gross, icky even, leaving a bitter aftertaste in his mouth, so he decided to wash it away with another sip.

 

"No catch?"  The man asked with a raised brow, "really?  You don't want any favors?  Cause' I’d be happy to grant them."

 

"Really, I don't want anything.  Take it as a thanks for being the first friendly face here," Kyungsoo persisted.  He's not quite sure why the man was trying so hard, kept on pushing for an ideal that was shot down, curt and staccato.  As the bartender set an ice cube into his drink, the sheen blocks clunked together before settling, and then he's got it.  But the trap seems to be one he couldn't stroll out of, not in this state of mind, at least.  The thought changes like _'Gettin' Hot'_ to _'Strawberry Fields Forever'_ and he doesn't feel the sense of dread anymore.

 

The man gnawed onto his lower lip a bit—an action so foreign from his sly countenance—before outstretching his hand.  "Byun Baekhyun."

 

Kyungsoo felt a smile form on his face as he took the hand Baekhyun offered and shook it, to his surprise it felt softer than anticipated, he'd want to hold onto it for a while.  But the realization that Baekhyun is waiting for his response caused him to withdraw his hand.  "Do Kyungsoo," he stammered with fluster.

 

A bubbling, red cocktail was placed onto the table with a _'plunk'_.  Baekhyun brought the cup to his lips with thin, delicate hands and sipped it, once the cup was brought away he licked his glossy, cherry lips before smacking them together.  Kyungsoo felt parched, so he tried to swallow down the rest of his drink to sooth it.  He missed the smirk played on the latter's face as he slammed his cup down. 

 

"One more," he beckoned to the bartender who nodded at him and got to work.

 

Baekhyun spun the miniature umbrella, with his fingertip, against the rim of the cup.  His eyes concentrated on the action, lips tugged downward into a cute pout, as he twirled the umbrella in a full circle.  He seemed to be pondering about something, contemplating. 

 

His eyes then flickered back to Kyungsoo's as he leaned closer near his ear.  "If this place doesn't suit you, I could show you a good time," his whisper flowed into Kyungsoo's head like a melody, making the pounding in his chest ram against his rib cage like the beats of a drum, heat sizzling at the tips of his ears ever so.

 

"U-Uhm, what?" was all Kyungsoo could sputter.  He's sure the alcohol has done its job as he felt his face burn like a crackling fire.

 

"Since you're cute I’ll let you enjoy for free," Baekhyun purred as he withdrew himself with a finger lingering against Kyungsoo's jaw.  "But if you want more you'll have to pay," his finger slid against the bone, once he reached the chin he tilted Kyungsoo's head before flicking his finger up. 

 

Kyungsoo had held his breath the whole time, shuddering when the warm feeling of Baekhyun's touch lingered on his skin, and he found himself padding his skin in search for the remainder of that warmth.  Without knowing too well himself, he was nodding away while being taken by the hand and dragged out of the club after downing their third drink.

 

«*»

 

"Hyun, wait up!"  Baekhyun shouts as he and Kyungsoo chase after their daughter who is brisk walking down the corridor. 

 

"Leave me alone," Hyun snaps back at them without bothering to spare her fathers a glance, that's when you know she's upset.  As she gets to their apartment door, she rummages through her bag and retrieves her set of spare keys.

 

"Hyun!"  Baekhyun calls again, his voice is louder this time.  Before he can call her name once more in hopes that she would turn and look at him at least once, she's already walked inside their apartment, slamming the door shut behind her agitated flight.

 

Kyungsoo sighs as he gives Baekhyun's arm a squeeze before walking ahead to open the door and let themselves in.  After Kyungsoo shuts and locks the door behind them, Baekhyun races to Hyun's room, which is locked as expected, and knocks on the door.

 

"Baby, open up," he pleads, knuckles still linger against the wood, but he's no longer knocking, just hanging on.

 

"Go away!"  Comes Hyun's shout, her voice muffled.  "I told you to leave me alone!"

 

"Open the door, Hyun," Kyungsoo persists as he slots himself to Baekhyun's side.  "Please don't shut yourself out from us, we need to talk."

 

"If you don't open this door in five minutes I'll pick the lock with chopsticks," Baekhyun warns. 

 

Kyungsoo snorts, "yeah, he probably would."

 

"What so you mean 'probably would'?  I will!"

 

And as they're bickering over useless things— _"I think metal chopsticks would get the job done faster,", "Baek, I'm not going out to buy metal chopsticks, wooden ones are just fine,", "I thought you loved me!"—_ the door creaks and it opens slightly, snatching all their attention.

 

Hyun's face is what peeks out, frown creasing her features.  With a bit of hesitation as her gaze swaps from the door handle to them, she lets them in while slowly opening the gap between them.  With a little scurry, they finally decide to sit on the bed.

 

"Hyun," Baekhyun begins while reaching for her hand to hold, her name hangs on the tip of his tongue as he tries to locate the words he wants to say.

 

"2nd place is okay," Kyungsoo says for him, they share a glance and then a small nod, he reaches over to hold Hyun's other hand, "you did you're best and that's what matters."

 

"I know, but that's not why I'm mad," she mutters, her grip on their hands tightens, "it's just that... I'm the reason we couldn't get first."

 

"Don't say that--"

 

"But it's true!"  Hyun blurts, and at the realization of her sudden outburst she tries to calm down.  "After we built the tower, I was supposed to be on top and that would be it, but I fell and brought everyone down."

 

Baekhyun gnaws on his bottom lip, looks at the purple bruise on Hyun's knee, and rubs it, he falters when she flinches at the contact but continues when she eases into the touch.

 

"And why did that happen?  How did you mess up?"  Kyungsoo asks, almost sternly, so much as so that it catches the other two off guard, because while he might be able to play the bad-cop in a good-cop-bad-cop scenario, he's not one to ever be that serious.

 

"You know already, papa" Hyun answers as she stares at feet, and it's so quiet that her words flow with the wind right after being released, "you were there and saw it."

 

"Yes, but I want to know why you think you messed up."

 

"I..."  She purses her lips; her chest is puffed out a bit with held breath.  She exhales, "might've gotten too eager with climbing on top and slipped..."

 

"Good!"

 

"What," Hyun and Baekhyun both say in unison as they stare at the latter.

 

"It's good that you know what you did wrong," Kyungsoo explains as he pats her cheek, "the first place team had so many mistakes, but since they won they wouldn't think about correcting them.  That's why'll they'll lose next time, and you'll win by learning from your mistake and stomp them to the ground," he then stands up and signals them to follow him out the door.  "Not literally, though, I don't support your life filled with crime."

 

"Wait, where are we going?"  Hyun asks, she stands up while taking off the bow in her hair, letting her locks flow down like the stress that once weighed heavily in her posture.

 

Kyungsoo gives them a smile with a wink.  "Victory ice cream."

 

«*»

 

When wings are set ablaze the owner becomes a Phoenix—burning brightly whenever, even growing larger in the most suffocating of places.  It burns everything it touches because fire is just like that, it was meant to burn.  If a Phoenix dies it is given another chance in life and it flares even brighter until finally extinguished for the last time, after so, the wings that once were a beautiful, scorching crimson are left abandoned as a puddle of ashes.

 

But what if the Phoenix never dies, yet, lives a life that's worth an end?  What if the Phoenix's flames are washed out, but clipped so it could never reborn?  It would just stay there; a flickering ember trying to hold on in the dark, struggling, gasping for air—for the second chance it would never receive.  The Phoenix may never die, but feels like it’s already in the hands of death.  The question remained; what then?

 

Kyungsoo grunted as Baekhyun pushed him up against the apartment door, his mouth pressed sloppy, open mouthed kisses against the latter's jawline, and as his tongue traveled further down he stopped at his neck and nibbled against the Adam's apple.  Usually, if he was sober, he'd go rougher; sucking hickies all over the untouched canvas of skin while his hands roamed everywhere in the name of an awarding moan, but he's not doing that, something unknown was preventing him from doing so.

 

It's either the alcohol or his lower half that screamed in pain whenever he moved, but it wasn't as bad as earlier.  It felt more like a buzzing pain that he's grown used to.  So, Baekhyun did what he sufficed as the solution.  He forced himself to let a hand roam against Kyungsoo's chest, even if it didn't feel as right as it should've, his palm flat against the latter's stomach as he stroked deeper, a hum of satisfaction left his lips as he felt the shivers under his fingertips. 

 

But as soon as his hand lowered to palm Kyungsoo's crotch, which was a very good way to turn both a male and female on, he was stopped by a pair of hands that pushed him back, the grip remained, and it first confused Baekhyun, but after he felt a tremble he had no trouble in registering it; excitement or nervousness.  He'd roll his die and guessed nervousness.

 

He predicted that this was Kyungsoo's first time, and a little bit of pride flared within Baekhyun as he acknowledged that he'd take the other's virginity away, but as his flame burned out it left him with a bittersweet realization that after this their relationship will be nothing more than client and server, that is if this occasion wasn't a one-night stand.  Sure, he thought Kyungsoo was a nice person, cute even, but assured himself that he's only nice because he's naive and after tonight things would change—a person would change.  But work is work, he reminded himself, and so he took Kyungsoo's pudgy, warm (he liked how they felt, though) hands in his own and guided them both into the bedroom.

 

Usually, Baekhyun would push his client down onto the bed, then straddle them before doing a few body rolls along with a dry hump here and there, because if he wanted a round to be a good one he'd need to spice it up and entertain the consumer.  Over the years he'd learn that the best technique to keep clients calling is to treat them like the prize instead of vice-versa, then drop them right after finishing so they'll be left wanting more of the same thrill every time.

 

But this isn't the usual, and it's a wonder why Baekhyun felt the need to take things soft and slow with Kyungsoo.  Even after having settling him onto the bed and inspecting his flushed face—a hiccup had escaped Kyungsoo's plush lips, causing him to chuckle with a smile, his eyes crinkled upwards and all.  It's such a foreign concept to Baekhyun that he felt all the strategies he developed to spiral in his mind, and at the eye of the storm laid the clearest of images; Kyungsoo's smiling face.  Baekhyun prayed that's the alcohol's work, but he's not religious, so no god would be answering his prayers—he's still not sure what he wanted to do. 

 

"Got any lube or condoms?" He found himself sobering up a bit and asking after looking through the drawers that did not contain what he wanted.

 

"No," Kyungsoo answered, "I don't keep any of that stuff."

 

"Really?"  Baekhyun looked at him, almost astonished, but then he remembered just what kind of person he'd suspect Kyungsoo to be.  "Have you ever fingered yourself or jacked off?"  As the latter squinted at him he continued, "no shame with saying 'yes'."

 

"Had a wet dream once in middle school."

 

"That's the only one?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Okay, looks like this'll be harder than I thought," Baekhyun huffed as he clapped his hands together, he almost snorts as Kyungsoo flinched at the gesture.  "Lucky for you, I'm armed," he rummaged through his bag, took the bottle of lube and placed it on top of the drawer while tossing the condom beside it.

 

"W-Wait, what are you doing?"  Sputtered Kyungsoo as he stopped Baekhyun's hand that dragged down the zipper of his jeans.

 

"Teaching you a few things," Baekhyun replied with a smirk, and as Kyungsoo knitted his brows together in confusion he continued, "don't worry it'll feel good, I promise," and the words were peculiar flowing out of his mouth, he's not one to make promises.  Once both of their pants are peeled off and tossed onto the floor, Baekhyun reaches to strip off his briefs as well, but he took an instance to look up and found Kyungsoo staring at him—at his thighs with widened eyes and parted lips. 

 

"Are you--?"

 

"What, never seen a fuck-toy before?"  Baekhyun's retort was too quick, too sharp, too unprofessional.  He, too, faltered by the jab of his own words but disguised that with a sigh and a long grin, "here, baby, let's get started," came his signature phrase; practiced and seductive in all the right places. After taking off his briefs he tossed them to the ground and climbed onto the bed, sitting upright.  "Give me your hand," he said as he reached for the bottle of lube.

 

"What f-for?"  Kyungsoo asked as he turned his body to face him, the tips of his ears were burning bright red.  He adverted his eyes away from Baekhyun.

 

"Fingering, duh," Baekhyun replied, "smear lube onto your fingers so it'll be more comfortable and easier to stretch me out."

 

"No, no, no... okay, wait," Kyungsoo mumbled as he rubbed his face with his hands, perhaps he'd finally gotten sober, "sorry, fuck, I didn't want to get into this situation, I’m drunk."

 

"Darling, we're both drunk," his words carried a slight lilt, and if it hadn't been for the alcohol's lingering venom he would've deadpanned, "it's easy, trust me."

 

"Baekhyun," Kyungsoo enunciated his words, the syllables aligned together in a way that constricted Baekhyun's lungs just a bit, "you're hurt."

 

"So what?" Baekhyun breathed, his voice started a strong hiss but later trailed into whisper that disappeared like the warmth in the room, "I'm not dead."

 

"Look, this isn't something that I can do."

 

"I told you, it's easy."

 

"This isn't something that I want to do," Kyungsoo sighed as he took the bottle of lube away from Baekhyun's hand, looked at the label, seemed to decide that he wasn't in the mood of putting it back in its place, so he chucked it away.  "And even if I wanted to I couldn't, you're hurt."

 

"I’m fine, this is nothing, it doesn't hurt.  One.  Bit," Baekhyun articulated, truth be told that his patience was running thin; firstly, he was quite annoyed his favorite brand of lube was thrown and secondly, he didn't want any of the latter's pity.

 

"Are you sure about that?"  Challenged Kyungsoo in a low voice, before Baekhyun could persist that he was, a shriek escaped his lips as he felt the scorching pain erupt in his bruised thighs since they were—not roughly, just moderately—pulled apart.

 

Baekhyun yelped as he felt the fingers grasping his thighs only dig deeper, and like a jolt of electricity that crackled a flame onto a branch, fear had struck him, the memories of what happened earlier scrambled in his mind, like a cassette tape on reply it reminded him ever so.  His hands scrambled from his side to the intruding hands as he tried to pry them off.  The pain was not excruciating but it was more than he could handle.  He let out a breath of held air as the grip released itself with a hum, but after retracting, two fingers dived in to press against his ass, causing him to gasp.  The ghost of the pain he felt when being roughly handled arisen from the grave and brought back a pain that made his head dizzy and stomach churn with needles dipped in hot wax.

 

"That shouldn't have hurt," he heard Kyungsoo mutter, remorseful as he removed his fingers and moved back to give Baekhyun some space.  He then got off the bed, slid on his pants, and walked out of the room.  "I'm sorry for that.  Try not to hate me too much when you wake up."

 

Baekhyun's chest heaved up and down as he found solace in gripping on the sheets.  He was too tired and too lightheaded to get up, gather his stuff, and leave.  The fatigue that he'd been trying to suppress overcame him, crashed down on him with the wispy whispers from its waterfall that chanted a mantra for him to sleep.  So, he complied, collapsed against the mattress, and let his mind drift with the waves that could drown him or whist him away to land once more.

 

His conscious was never with him when Kyungsoo returned with a warm, wet towel that rubbed against his battered skin. The hot pack that was carefully placed onto his stomach, and the blanket that enveloped itself over him—a warmth he never associated with.

 

«*»

 

Baekhyun rubs the chocolate ice cream, that sat in a warm waffle cone along with nuts and marshmallows, against his lips just like lipstick, ignoring the frosty chill that bites like a critter.  He then trots over to his two baby birds, who are currently sitting at the table meant for four, and once he gets close enough to them he presses sloppy, sticky kisses against their cheeks.

 

"Dad!"  Hyun half-screams, half-laughs as she points her strawberry popsicle at him like it's her trusty blade on the battlefield, "gross!"  She then takes a napkin from the pile and wipes the ice cream kiss off her cheek.

 

"Sorry, hatchling," Baekhyun simpers as he sits beside his Kyungsoo who has a spoonful of green tea sherbet in his mouth.

 

He takes the spoon out of his mouth, wipes away the smear of chocolate with his fingers, brings it to his lips, and tastes it.  "You're right," he hums with a nod," I should've gotten rocky road ice cream."  He then leans in, closes the gap, and presses a kiss against Baekhyun's cocoa tinted lips and nibbles lightly on the latter's bottom lip, successfully silencing the raven before it crows once more.

 

Hyun gawks, but not because she hasn't seen them toss out extreme PDA everywhere, it's just a role she feels the need to fulfill since no one else would.  "Papa!"  She squawks, "that's gross!

 

"Shh," Baekhyun shushes her fake gagging and giggles when Kyungsoo presses another set of butterfly kisses onto his lips, "your papa and I are having a moment."

 

"Yet again, gross."

 

«*»

 

Or course, if the phoenix were to ever be freed they'd need someone to unclip their wings.  Once the shackles crumble their wings will burst into the beautiful flames once again, but there is a cost; the bold bird that pecked at those chains will be consumed by the fire and have their own wings burnt—if not completely charred away. 

 

That's why only fools would fly so close around the phoenix. 

 

Baekhyun felt his eyes slowly open, the buzzing pain that pulsed at the back of his head insists on pestering him even as he rubbed his fingers against his temples; a bad hangover.  But regardless, the gears in his body always start to whir now—it's like automatic.  7 A.M; always on time no matter what time he sleeps or how many hours of sleep he's able to stack.

 

But what dealt him a slap of surprise right across the face was odd feeling of comfort that sunk into his lower areas which once ached to high extents; the sound of clambering footsteps and rattling dishes.  First, he lifted the blanket up from his body, felt the absence of the warmth leave, and scanned his body; there was a hot pack that rested against his stomach—although it was now a cold pack since the heat had faded.  Secondly, he noticed that the bruises were faded lighter than they usually would, as if there was a source that mended them. 

 

Regardless, he slipped out of the bed, gathered the condom and bottle of lube which were left unused, placed them into his bag that was left near the drawer, and cladded himself with his clothing that laid folded on the ground.  After finishing his necessary tasks, he walked out of the bedroom door, and found himself in the middle of the living room face-to-face with man he remembered too well from last night; Kyungsoo.

 

"Oh, you're up," he said, eyes hovered up from his thick-rimmed that hang on the bridge if his nose, then they return back to the sunny-side up egg he'd been trying to land on the plate, "you okay?  If you've got a hangover I have painkillers, and there's a washroom in front of the bedroom, so you don't have to vomit here." 

 

Baekhyun didn't respond, never planned to, the only thing he wanted to do was walk out of the door and pretend meeting Kyungsoo never happened because it's quite the embarrassment to his side knowing that he tried to fuck a guy but failed and ended up being babied, not to mention that said guy is an even earlier morning bird than he is.  He's not trying to be competitive over the little things, it's just his second nature.

 

Although, it's not that he hated the treatment, in fact, he hadn't been exposed to this much nurturing in such a long while that it makes his insides feel warm and soft, but what can he say?  He's a man with low enough standards to be desperate for anything remotely intimate.  He'd admit it was a nice break from raw dick.

 

But if he's not out making money, then really, there's no need to be here.  So, while Baekhyun took the few steps of his farewell march, he stopped as he noticed his reflection in the mirror, gasped in horror, and took a closer look at himself—a closer look at his bare face.

 

"Oh yeah, I cleaned up your face since it's not good to sleep with makeup on," Kyungsoo said, his next words came behind a layer of hesitation, "you look... better without it."

 

"Huh?"  And it's not that Baekhyun never heard his words, but it's such a foreign symphony that he needed his ears to relish it one last time to know that it wasn't just a fantasy.

 

"You look better without makeup," Kyungsoo stammered as he adverted his gaze elsewhere, the sunlight that dripped through the window's curtains highlighted his features, making them appear much softer than Baekhyun had remembered.  His cheeks were like a ranunculus that bloomed in a golden meadow; lush with life and accented with a dash of peach.  His lips were rounded in such a way that it looked like a plump heart; not too sharp around the edges but had a nice slope—like a rock the siren laid upon, casting harmonious spells onto unlucky sailors.  Baekhyun's not so sure why he's enticed by the latter's lips, nor is he sure why he's checking him out, but that's probably because yesterday he hadn't got the chance to do so.  "Well, at least I think so."

 

It took a while for Baekhyun to realize that he'd been staring for too long as the sudden movement of Kyungsoo shifting uneasily in spot broke the silence.  "Oh!  Uhm... thank you?"  Baekhyun blubbered, "s-sorry, it's just been a while since someone told me something like that."  It's not exactly the reason why he left Kyungsoo at bay without a word, but the statement wasn't false either, for the only praise he received was from clients that whispered how good of a boy he was being if they were dominate.

 

Kyungsoo looked at him, stood there and gazed, his mouth scrunched lightly together and formed an 'o', but since his lips were so plush it gave that 'o' all the right curves.  It was irritating for Baekhyun because he couldn't tell what emotion laid behind the latter's eyes; sympathy?  Surprise?  He hadn’t a clue.  "Do you want to eat something before you leave?"  Was the question that escaped those lush lips, a bit of hope laced itself in the middle of the letters.

 

Baekhyun knew he should've declined and just leave because it was never a good idea to get attached to people like this; it's bad for business and who knew what Baekhyun would lose from it.  But there was a thin, red string that wrapped itself against his pinky and tugged him to sit at the table.   

 

As they ate in silence that seemed so suffocating, Baekhyun decided to take a deep breath and ask a question he'd be meaning to for a while.  "Why did you stop what could've happened last night?" 

 

Kyungsoo looked up from his piece of buttered toast before setting it down and tapping his chin as if pondering.  The rhythm of his finger drumming against his chin came to an abrupt stop, he raised said finger in the air as if pointing to whatever thought he'd just conceived.  "Ah, I guess there's really not much of a serious reason?  I just feel like that, y'know, is not something I feel comfortable with.  It's not something I wanna' do nor appeals to me?  I think there's a word for that..."

 

"Asexuality?"

 

"Yeah, I think that's the one," he shrugged, "Never told my friends any of this, I'm a little scared they'll belittle me because of it"

 

Baekhyun hummed, brought the cup of milk to his lips, and took a sip.  He looked at Kyungsoo with an arched brow.  "If you don't trust your friends with that information, why did you tell me?  A completely stranger."

 

"That's true, but it's kinda weird since I feel like I can trust you," a smile uplifted the corners of Kyungsoo's lips—small but tentative, also innocent, too innocent.

 

"Didn't your mama tell you never to trust strangers?"  Teased Baekhyun with a hint of sing-song and a corked smirk that was large enough to display his white canines, it grew even larger as he earned a chuckle out of the latter. 

 

"By now I don't think of you as a stranger," Kyungsoo said.  He then reached for his phone that laid on the table, turned it on with the home button, and his eyes widened as he stared at the screen.  "Oh, no," he mumbled as he lifted his head up to stare at Baekhyun, "you need to go right now."

 

Baekhyun frowned, of course nothing good wanted him for long, the opportunities slipped through his fingers like grains of sand.  "Tired of me already?"

 

"No, no it's not that," Kyungsoo denied with a wave of his hand, "my annoying friend, who lives next door, is probably going to bust in any moment," he sighed as he took off his glasses and pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose, "he saw me leave with you and now assumes I just got laid, trust me when I say the scene is not gonna be a good one."

 

Baekhyun nodded his head.  "Okay, I understand," and he shouldn't have scribbled his number down on a ripped napkin, he shouldn’t have, but the red string pulled him into the idea so hard that it was difficult to pull himself out.  "Here," he beckoned as he scooted the piece of napkin across the table where Kyungsoo sat, "call me when... you need my services."

 

Kyungsoo stared at the paper with the numbers written like chicken scratch, his hand approached but never touched it.  "Baekhyun, you know I don't do these kinds of things."

 

"I know," Baekhyun said. He took hold of Kyungsoo's outstretched hand, the grip was light enough so the latter could pull away anytime, and placed the number in the opened hand.  "Just... _take_ it."

 

It took a bit of time for Kyungsoo to realize what Baekhyun was hinting at, and once the pieces of the puzzle arranged itself together he nodded, voiced his thanks, and wrapped the paper in his hold.

 

«*»

 

"Woah!  I look beautiful!"  Eunha marvels at her reflection in the mirror, she stretches her face to view her makeup in all perspectives; fluttering her eyes, turning her head from side to side, and puckering her lips. 

 

"I'm glad you think so, too," Baekhyun agrees as he sprits a bit of hairspray on her hair.  They're currently in a resting room, he's retouching her features so they'll be ready to display themselves on the shining stage once more.  "If you're going to be an idol you must capture the audience’s attention off the bat," he lectures as he places the hairspray can down and eyes his piece of art, "it'll take more than just looks though, you'll also need to showcase your personality."

 

"Preppy or rebellious?"  She asks while fiddling with the ruffles of her top, "what does the media want from a leader of a girl group?"

 

"Well, leadership skills are expected," Eunha looks back at him with an 'are you serious' expression, this makes him laugh and continue, "just be yourself."

 

She pouts, "I’m not sure they'll like a girl who can chow down an entire pizza in one go."

 

"I think they'll be enticed by it," Baekhyun disagrees, "at the end of the day you'll be walking back with a nice body, leaving them with widened eyes, jaws hitting the floor, and a 'how does she do it?'"  His hand waves across the air, "I can hear the press admiring you already."

 

Eunha giggles at that, the tension eases from her shoulders all the same.  "Cordi, mister Byun, er..."

 

"You can just roll with Baekhyun."

 

"Right, Baekhyun," she says, a smile of satisfaction arises on her face as she sinks into the feeling if having the privilege of rolling his name on her tongue, "Are you in a relationship?"

 

Baekhyun smirks, "what?  Thinking about getting caught in a dating scandal with me?"

 

A flush of rose arises in her cheeks and she brings her hand to cover her mouth.  "N-No!  It's nothing like that, I promise!  I was just curious."

 

"I know, I'm just messing with you.  I think I’ll be too old for you anyway," he waves it off with a chuckle, "and yes, I'm in a lovely relationship with the most beautiful person at the moment."

 

The corner of her lips tug upwards to showcase her cute gummy smile; a smile Baekhyun has grown fond with since her pre-debut days, "are you married?"

 

"No," he replies as he looks down at his hands, quite ringless; too empty for his tastes, "not yet, I guess.  'm not sure when it'll ever happen, probably will, probably won’t, who knows?"

 

"Well, your girlfriend is lucky to have someone like you with makeup skills like this."

 

That’s where they hit the ground, and he's not quite sure if he should let her know that he is indeed not in a romantic, intimate relationship with a woman, but a man.  There's a chance of things becoming awkward between them, but it's not that he's a closeted person, it's just that he never mentions it unless asked.  He takes in a deep breath, stretches out his wings, and attempts to take off, "unfortunately, he's not so keen with me working my magic on his face."

 

There’s a string of silence that looms over them, it's a bit suffocating if you asked Baekhyun, but the string thins into nothing as Eunha shifts her body to look at him, "oh, why not?"

 

He lets out his held in breath, feels the triumph of landing safely on a branch, and smiles, "he says it's bad for his already clogged pores."

 

"Pimples are cute, though!"

 

"I know right!  That's what I keep telling him!"  He then rummages through his pocket, takes out his phone, and shows her his lock screen; it's a picture of Kyungsoo asleep on their bed.  His hair is mussed, eyes fluttered shut, his lips are slightly parted (there was a thick trail of drool dripping at the corner of his mouth but Baekhyun wiped it away before taking the picture) and a bit of his face covered by a blanket.  "Isn't he handsome?"

 

She gapes at the photo before nodding.

 

He feels nonexistent tears form at the corners of his eyes, yet he tries to wipe them away with a flick of his finger.  "I know, right?"

 

«*»

 

The sound of his doorbell ringing was peculiar, for Baekhyun had not invited anyone to come over; never has and never will.  He wasn't the only person living in the complex, so perhaps the guest stumbled outside his apartment instead of their actual destination.  And as the nice person Baekhyun was, or at least been trying to be, which is also peculiar because he's more of a 'deal with your own problems' kind of person, but he's been feeling upbeat ever since meeting Kyungsoo last week so he blamed that as the culprit.  He strolled over to the front door and opened it.  As soon as he saw the person from the other end's face he instantly slammed the door shut, because god no it couldn't be him, Baekhyun didn't want to see him at a time like this. 

 

"Baekhyun, please open up," the familiar voice pleaded from behind the door, and it sent a nostalgic shiver throughout Baekhyun's body—warm and ecstatic right down to his fingertips that held his cracked heart. 

 

Baekhyun had stood there for a long while without opening the door, he checked every now and then through the peep hole if the person he'd both strangle and hug was still outside, which they were.  So, in the act of curiosity and anger, he opened the door.  "What do you want?"  Were the words he finally spat, quick and curt, "how did you find me?" 

 

A solemn smile arose from the man's face as they made eye contact, but as he registered the atmosphere of the situation and Baekhyun's glare his smile withered away like a daisy through a storm.  "Baekhyun... it really is you!  It's been so long--"

 

"Baekbom," Baekhyun warned, cutting his older brother off, "answer my question before I slam the door on you again."

 

"I found you through some... friends," Baekbom answered, the weight of his words brought his body to droop a bit, that's what Baekhyun thought, or perhaps it had just been age that dragged his brother down.

 

"You've some shady friends, huh?"  And a smirk cut through Baekhyun's cheek as the latter's face darkened at that.

 

"Well, you're no better!"  Baekbom exclaimed as he crossed his arms, "You're a _prostitute_ for fuck's sake, Baek!"

 

"Don't say my name like that," Baekhyun snapped without realization that his smirk had lost its ego and mellowed into a scowl, "you don't deserve to."  He then leaned against the wooden doorframe.  "And so what if I am?  I don't have a damn clue of what you do anymore."

 

"Baekhyun," Baekbom said, his words spilt fondness but left a bitter puddle aftertaste of melancholy, "I'm so sorry that I took off like that.  Ever since that day I've been wishing things were different."

 

"Yeah, wishing things were different for you."

 

"I've wished things were different between us, please, I'm serious."

 

"You ran off with your pregnant girlfriend, leaving me with mom and _asshat."_

 

"Baekhyun, he was our dad," Baekbom exclaimed but kept a steady volume with his voice.

 

"He beat me, swore at me, threatened to kill me because I dated a boy," Baekhyun scoffed with his hands folded against his chest, "he almost did, actually, but I guess you weren't there to see it," he continued, leaning closer to Baekbom provokingly, "that's your definition of 'dad', isn’t it?"

 

Baekbom took a staggering step back, his hands were clenched at his sides, mouth hung open as if he were to retort something else, but he seemed to reconsider as it slowly clamped itself shut. 

 

It was laughable, really, and that's why Baekhyun chuckled dryly.  "Is that all you came for?  To see if I still needed someone as a shield?"  He shook his head with a click of his tongue as he received no response, just the adverted eyes of someone he used to know.  "Well," he sighed as he took a step back inside the room, his hand lingered on the door as he prepared to shut it, "bye."

 

"Wait!"  Baekbom yelled, stopping the door from closing, pushing it back, and Baekhyun'd be damned to know that Baekbom's overwhelming strength never worn out.  "I need your help, please."

 

"And why should I help you?  I don't owe you anything," Baekhyun snapped back as he dug down the heel of his foot onto the ground to get better footing so he could continue pushing against the door, it worked just a bit.  "You left me when I needed you the most!"  He felt his voice strain at the last sentence, quickly rubbing away the fresh tears that threatened to roll down his cheek.

 

"I know, I know and I'm so fucking sorry!  If I had another chance I would take it and never let you go," Baekbom exasperated, he lifted his head in surprise as he found the door to be leaning in his favor, but that was only for a second as the desperate force returned, he cajoled, "my daughter, please take care of her.  Just for a few years while I enlist into the army.  Afterwards, when I come back, I'll pay you back with whatever you want."

 

"What about the mom, huh?  What's her name again?  Sooji?"

 

"It's Sooyeon," Baekbom corrected him with a grunt, he decided to ram his shoulder against the door, “and she can't take care of her, don't you dare bring her up in this!"

 

"Why not?  Did she leave you, too?"  The word left his mouth like boiling steam rushing out of a dented pipe—uncontrollable and scolding to the touch.  A grunt in the middle as he began to push harder, fatigue began ebbing away.

 

"No, it's nothing like that!"

 

"It's not?  Then what?"  And when not a single response was spoken, Baekhyun urged again, "what could've possibly gone wrong with your perfect life?!"

 

"Baekhyun, please, not now.  You don't need to know."

 

"I could just roll my eyes right now, great, even more things you'll run away with.  Was she not good enough for you?  Is that why you crawled back to me?"

 

"She's dead!  Died after giving birth to her!"  Baekbom shouted with a hoarse voice, "our life wasn't perfect, it never was."

 

"Fucking hell—stop pushing the door, you're going to fucking break it and I don't want to waste money on a new one," Baekhyun ordered with gritted teeth, and when Baekbom persisted he continued, "I won't close it, I'm serious."

 

Then, just like that, the force pushing the door to stay open ceased fire.  Baekhyun left the door open, but ever so slightly that just his head would be able to pop out.  On both sides, ragged breaths were panted and filled in the silence, he found it hard to breathe as the air was thick with displeasure. 

 

"Your daughter..."  Baekhyun finally began with a sigh, he couldn't believe what he was doing; but then again he never had a map to tell him where to go all these years, he never could grow a thick shell—just a mask.  He scratched the back his head and adverted his eyes elsewhere.  "Where is she?  At home?"

 

"No," Baekbom answered, he seemed nervous with his next sentence, "she's sleeping in my car right now."

 

"Wow," Baekhyun grimaced, "I can't believe you were just gonna' drop her off the moment I said 'yes'," he closed his eyes to recollect himself, rubbing his cheek with the palm of his hand, "go get her," he beckoned with his fingers brushing the air.

 

Baekbom nodded, left, and came back with a small infant fast asleep in his arms.  "Could we... come in?"

 

Baekhyun sighed but nodded and let the duo in, motioning them to follow him into the small space—there was a vintage leather couch, oak coffee table, and a big mirror that rested against the walls that needed retouching in ivory—courageous enough to call a 'living room'.  Ironic since not much living was ever done in said room.  As they plopped down onto the couch Baekhyun couldn't help but notice how Baekbom caressed the infant; rocking her side to side within slow rhythm, wiping away the drool that ran down her mouth with his thumb, and crooning words whenever she started to whine. 

 

It's been years since they've last seen each other and it's evident that stressed weaved into Baekbom's body; lines of age creased onto his face, but regardless, the man Baekhyun knew for most of his life was the same.  Instead of the wild, care-free spirit his older brother was known to be, Baekhyun was looking at a man that seemed to be nurturing glass.  But time changes a person, and a person changes with time.  Baekhyun of all people knew this well, but not in the way he'd hope to be aquatinted with.

 

He thought he would be angrier if Baekbom were to ever show up in his face again, thought he would be more bitter, but the situation drained him too much emotionally and he's left with the feeling of water pooling up in his lungs—feels like a saturated sunrise.  The truth was always something he'd been trying to steer clear from, went to long lengths like becoming someone he's not in attempt to suppress it. 

 

But no matter what he did it never changed the fact that he could never hate his brother, and the hatred that burnt like a wicked flame for all these years was only the hatred he had for himself in disguise.  He hated himself for never being able to be good enough, for of course, he was known to be the shadow of his older brother, and he believed their degrading words.  But after Baekbom's absence he blamed himself for having the incapability of convincing him to stay.

 

"What's her name?"  Baekhyun found himself asking, breaking the silence came in the package of curiosity. 

 

"Hyun," Baekbom answered, his gaze never leaving her, "she's two currently, turning three next month, same day."

 

"Byun Hyun?"  Baekhyun scoffed without much malice, sarcastic more so, "now I know she really is your daughter."

 

Baekbom chuckled, rubbed circles onto Hyun's rosy cheeks with his thumb softly, she gurgled while he did so.  He lifted his head up to stare at Baekhyun, it sent shivers down Baekhyun's spine.  It was like his older brother was trying to retrace the directions of an old treasure map, but it came to no avail, for the map was too scorched to make out.  "You've changed so much, yet, you still look like the Baekhyun I know" he commented, "your voice doesn't crack anymore?"

 

"I look like the Baekhyun that you knew," Baekhyun corrected as he shook his head with a tight smile, "here and there, but not as much as it used to," he chuckled, "don't hit me with the 'do you remember this?' and the 'do you remember that?' because I do remember everything, it's just that I don't feel the same way about it like I used to.  It's been three years and I've changed, you changed, and I'm not the brother you remembered."

 

"Despite that," Baekbom said, "you're still my brother, nothing has changed when it comes to that," he continued after a long beat of pause that involved withheld eye contact, "so... how are things with Chanyeol?"

 

Ah, him, Baekhyun cursed internally as the memories made of venom stung him.  It's a subject he'd been trying to forget about for a long time, it hasn't quite worked out since knives that dig into your flesh leave everlasting scars.  His hands clenched tightly around the fabric of his sweatpants.  "Gone," he answered, "after you left we dated for another year, but I found out he'd been cheating on me with another girl.  His excuse was 'she's just my beard, my parents are homophobic, too!'," he took in a breath, "but I saw the way he looked at her, it was warm and loving, something he never shown to me, not even in bed.  So, I left him and home for a change, one thing led to another, and now I'm here."

 

Baekbom hadn't said anything afterwards, and Baekhyun was very thankful that he didn't, so instead, they both focused their attention on Hyun who stirred awake with curious intent—scanning around her new environment and new home.  The invisible, red string had urged Baekhyun, this time he'd follow its commands not because he had to but because he wanted to, and while he out stretched his pinky in Hyun's direction he bit back a smile as her grasping, small hand clung on.

 

«*»

 

"Scalpel."

 

"Roger, doctor!"

 

Baekhyun takes the knife that Hyun had placed on the table and carefully presses it against the patient, every single cut is made with an over-dramatic stroke that makes him look like he's drawing a card from his deck.  But he supposes _Yu-Gi-Oh_ correlates to what they're trying to do right now because he's ready to d-d-d-duel.  "Blood bag!"

 

"Doctor!"  Hyun chimes in with a plastic bag of red icing, "this one is our last bag left, but I don't think we have enough for the patient, and our other resources are running low!"

 

"This is our last patient out of the batch," Baekhyun declares, slams his hand onto the dinner table they're positioned at, and uses his other hand to rub against his temple as if he's trying to soothe a headache, "I refuse to accept our last operation as a failure."

 

"Right!"  Hyun nods as she hands him the bag. 

 

Baekhyun takes hold of the bag, slices off the corner, and squeezes the cream out with such preciseness onto the tasty patient that he might as well be dissembling a ticking time bomb seconds away to their demise.  After rounding a corner, he tosses the empty back of icing, it falls limp against the counter, and he wipes the small bead of perspiration away from his forehead with the back of his hand. 

 

"I would like to thank the gods, even though I'm not a religious person, for blessing me with not only a beautiful face but my steady hands," he prays aloud with his hands clapped together.  "Hand me the toppings, gosling, we're wrapping it up."

 

Hyun salutes and runs over to the cabinet, snatches the last bag of gum drops and candy coated chocolates, then trots over to her dad with an armful and plops them onto the table. 

 

Baekhyun opens the bag, grabs the tweezers that were laid to the side, slots a candy covered chocolate delicately in between the utensil, and places them gently onto the left side of the patient's face.  He does it again for the right side.  He does the same for the gumdrops, placing them onto the patient's torso, and the operation is almost done—just one last...

 

"Are you guys done with the gingerbread people yet?"  Kyungsoo pipes in as he peers over a Baekhyun and Hyun whom are too engrossed in their activity, although, this startles Baekhyun and causes him to lose grip of the gumdrop, whining in defeat as it rolls and sticks to the cookie's leg.

 

"No!  We're losing him-slash-her-I-don't-know-it-has-no-genitals!"  Hyun cries as she prods at the gumdrop to get it back in place, needless to say, it doesn't make much progress.  "Shall we commence CPR?"

 

"I think we have enough cookies already," Kyungsoo grins as he picks up the now-dead gingerbread person and bites off, or in this case, severs off its head, "these are good, though."

 

"You vulture!" Baekhyun gasps, his eyes widening like saucers breaching a new galaxy, and he attempts to rescue the gingerbread person with a lunge but falls short as Kyungsoo backs away at the last second.  "It was so young!  Had a family waiting for it in the container!"  Baekhyun agonizes as he sinks to the floor, "why must this world be so cold..."

 

"I'm pretty sure that's the floor, babe," Kyungsoo chuckles at his cute boyfriend below mumbling about how the justice system is corrupt.

 

"Silence," Baekhyun shushes him with an outstretched finger pointing up, "I suddenly am not aware of your existence, now."

 

"C'mon, it's not that bad, the cookie was gonna be eaten anyway," Kyungsoo pouts as Baekhyun swats his hand away, he then turns to Hyun, "please, agree with me, pumpkin'."

 

"Sorry, papa, but I think I'm on dad's team," she looks down at her cheering dad, then back at her papa with a sharp inhale through her teeth, "gingerbread people have rights and freedoms, too."

 

"I am the most dedicated gingerbread advocate there is," Baekhyun huffs as he brings himself to a stand, he then plucks the cookie out of Kyungsoo's mouth, presses a quick peck onto the latter's lips, gobbles up the gingerbread patient, and wipes his hands together, "but I am a stronger advocate when it comes to satisfying my hunger.  Remember to take care of yourself, kiddos'."

 

"Wait, so, have you just pardoned me for my crimes?"  Kyungsoo asks, his brow arches with a grin.  His fingers poke against Baekhyun's side, as if prodding against him enough would bring the hammer of mercy against his vessel.

 

Baekhyun squints at him, lifts his arm to tap his chin as if he was thinking, moves his other hand to hold his elbow, "I don't know about that," he chortles, walks a few steps closer so he can wrap his arms around Kyungsoo's waist and pull him in.  Their hips crash together, but instead of kissing Baekhyun bumps their noses together, and Kyungsoo's arms lift to wrap around his neck.  "I'll consider, though, it's only because I'm cursed to be in love with you."

 

"I think it's more of a blessing," Kyungsoo teases and laughs when Baekhyun slaps his ass for being so damn cheesy (but they both know it's endearing).  They sway side to side, waltzing to a nonexistent melody. 

 

The sound of a camera shutter is what bursts their bubble, they both turn their heads to the source—Hyun is the culprit, but she pays no mind to their skeptic.  She clicks the photo gallery app and on the picture, she's taken before showing it to the gingerbread cookies that lay in the translucent container.  "You see this?"  She says as she wipes away a fake tear, "that's real love."

 

«*»

 

It had been a tiring month for Kyungsoo.  He took a temporary position for a sixth-grade class since their original teacher was on maternity leave.  Not only that, but he pulled all-nighters planning lessons and thinking of ways to show the higher-ups that he's damn good at his job that involved dealing with snarky preteens running through the blossoming fields of flowering hormones.

 

But today he could take a break from his working desk for once.  So, he crash landed onto his bed after wrapping up the last of his lesson plan for tomorrow; he was going to be introducing algebra, which in his opinion was the best math unit.  He'd admit that he was creative with his lessons, trying a new thing every time but the subject remained relevant all the same. 

 

He smiled at the memory of him getting the kids to associate roleplaying, the good kind, into their science class.  Of course, because of the teacher privileges he's blessed to bestow, he was the king of the castle.  He brought a robe, had Sehun cut him a paper crown, and a stuffed tiger since every king needed their royal pet.  He sat on his chair that was hoisted higher by the support of textbooks and commanded the kids to bring him examples of organic materials and state their beneficial cause.  'All in the name of developing the kingdom!', he remembered declaring while stomping his foot.

 

He rolled himself up in a blanket burrito, tossed and turned because he was fond of doing that as a child, but stopped as he noticed something white laying on top of the drawer.  He wriggled his hands free from the blanket so he could grab onto it, and once it was in his grasp he flipped it over and read its contents; a phone number.  Then it struck him of what the paper was—it was Baekhyun's number. 

 

He remembered keeping it there as a reminder to call the latter at some point because, he too, didn't want their encounter to be a one day thing.  But he supposed for it to be curiosity that kept him in the state of wanting to see him.  A month overdue is better than never, right?  So, with all the courage brought back to his system, he got up and looked around for his phone so he could press in the digits and dial the number.  His phone rang as it waited for the other end to pick up, Kyungsoo counted them, holding his breath as the line finally picked up on the fifth ring.

 

"Hello, darling, how may I help you today?"  Came a smooth, low drawl of a voice Kyungsoo hadn't heard in so long but was still so refreshing to be accompanied by again.

 

"Hello?" 

 

"Wait, K-Kyungsoo?"  Baekhyun squeaked, his voice snapping out of the flirtatious tone and into something more himself, Kyungsoo could hear the muffled clatter of what he presumed to be the latter's phone slipping out of his hand.  "Sorry, I thought you were one of my clients," he let out a sigh of heartfelt defeat, "ahh... Now I feel embarrassed."

 

"Don't worry about it, it's fine," Kyungsoo chortles, "sorry for not calling any time sooner, I was busy with lesson planning."

 

"You're a teacher?"  Baekhyun asked, "do you work with snotty preteens?"

 

"Sorta'.  I'm a substitute for snotty preteens,"—he finds a smile rise on his face as Baekhyun laughs at that—"for now until I find a permanent job somewhere."

 

"You're good with kids and stuff?"  Baekhyun questioned, Kyungsoo nodded but mentally slapped himself as he remembered that the latter can't see his gesture through the phone, and so he hummed instead.  "Oh, that's cool, really" he complimented.

 

"Nah, I don't think it's that cool," Kyungsoo denied with a chuckle, "but thanks for trying."

 

"No, it is," Baekhyun contradicted, "like you're passing the gift of knowledge so they find something to do with their lives," and his words seemed to hold some type of melancholy, seemed to be another message hiding behind his words, but before Kyungsoo could decipher he continued, "and I gotta give you an award for being able to stand those wild kookaburras."

 

" _Kookaburras?"_

 

"Yeah, they're these types of bird.  They have this pretty wicked cry," Kyungsoo could hear how the latter's voice was rising in pitch due to excitement, he imagined how the beaming smile and starry-eyes on Baekhyun's face would look like, "I'm good at reenacting it, goes a lil' something like—"

 

The sudden cry, of what was evidently a child's, could be heard in the background on Baekhyun's side.  Kyungsoo heard the abrupt sound of a muffled curse, hurried footsteps against hardwood, the wailing sound growing louder, and the comforting coos that came afterwards.

 

"Hyun-ah, what's wrong?"  Crooned Baekhyun to the sobbing infant, "shh, it's okay."  The crying soon came to a silence, Kyungsoo presumed that the baby stopped crying and had calmed down.  Baekhyun sighed, "sorry about that, Kyungsoo."

 

"No, it's fine, I know about the struggles with caring for a baby," Kyungsoo said, "is that your...?"

 

"Daughter," Baekhyun informed him, "well, technically, she's my niece but I'll be taking care of her for a while," he huffed, and it was only up until now that Kyungsoo realized how tired the latter sounded.

 

"Is anything wrong?"  Kyungsoo asked, "you sound like you've swam across the pacific and back."

 

"It'll take more than just swimming to tire me out, but I guess babysitting is where I draw the line," Baekhyun chuckles, "She's just been out bursting a lot lately and I don't know what's wrong."

 

"Well..."  Kyungsoo outstretched the world longer than needed to, "I could maybe, possibly, perhaps lend a hand?  I've got a handful of knowledge since I've babysat a lot before."

 

"You could?  Like, for real?"  And when Kyungsoo hummed in agreement, Baekhyun cheered, but shushed himself as he heard the baby squirm in her sleep, "okay, okay, thank you so much.  I'll text you my address."

 

One Kyungsoo packed all the stuff he needed—stuffed animals, baby monitor, stroller, a few alphabet blocks, and a music box—he started up his car and drove to the destination.  The apartment building, he arrived to was more than he expected; the building was modern and was in decent condition.  He rode the elevator, pressing the button to ascend to the fourth floor, and once the doors slid open he walked out and approached the door with the familiar number plate. 

 

His hand hovered but never touching the door.  A beat and two, then his knuckles knocked loosely against it for he was cautious about disrupting the baby's slumber if she wasn't awake.  There was no answer, so he set down the bag carrying the baby pro-items and pulled out his phone.

 

**Kyungsoo - Today at 5:26 P.M**

>>I'm at the door, didn't ring the doorbell just in case

 

**Baekhyun - Today at 5:27 P.M**

>>okok good !! 

>>the child was asleep and since u have not disturbed her we will live to see another day

>>brb boutta open the door

 

When the door opened, Kyungsoo came face to face with the man he hadn't seen in almost a month.  But despite them meeting under unusual circumstances, he's consider their reuniting a warm moment.  Baekhyun had welcomed him with a nice smile, but not large enough to reach his cheeks, however, Kyungsoo felt some sort of relief burn away as it wasn't the crooked grin or smirk he'd seen in the darkness of the club.

 

He noted how the bags under Baekhyun's eyes were more prominent than he remembered, cheeks less full; something not even makeup could hide, today he hadn't put on makeup, anyway.  Perhaps taking the infant under his wing did take a toll like he said.

 

"Hey, thanks for coming, feels good to see your face after a tiring month," Baekhyun greeted as he stepped to the side, "welcome to the den."

 

"Passed my standards, you've got a nice theme going around, pretty homey" Kyungsoo confessed as he stepped in, the bag swaying alongside, "where is she?"

 

"She's resting on my bed," Baekhyun informed him as they walked into the living room, "do you want anything to drink?  I've got coffee, tap water, tea, and tap water.  Wait, did I've got mention tap water?"  He grinned in triumph as he was rewarded with Kyungsoo's laugh.

 

"What kind of tea do you got in stock?"  He asked with a raised brow, "to be honest, I'd never take you for a tea person."

 

"Excuse me, but right now you've just offended me," Baekhyun scoffed sarcastically with a sophisticated hand on his chest, "I have you know I've got good tastes in liquids," he walked over to the pantry in the kitchen that was connected with the living room, "Are you a green tea or oolong person?  If you're adventurous we could mix them together."

 

"I'll take green tea, thanks," Kyungsoo rummaged through his bag, paused as he noticed the leather notebook sitting on the glass table with a bird silhouette on the cover, and then continued to take out the contents carefully so he wouldn't make too much noise.  "I brought some stuff that might be useful, I don't need them anymore since my babysitting days are over, so you could keep them if you want."

 

Baekhyun walked back to the couch with a cup of tea in hand, he set it onto the coffee table, and scanned the items placed onto said table.  "These are perfect!"  He gaped as he picked up the pelican plushy, squishing its figure with sparkles of interest gleaming in his eyes, "I could marry you, like, right now, dude."

 

"Sure, I want the ring to be pure gold and glimmering like Beyoncé," snorted Kyungsoo as he picked up the offered cup of tea and took and sip, raising his pinky up as his ears met the blissful humming of the 'Single Ladies' coming from the latter. 

 

Baekhyun lifted his attention from the stuffed bird to Kyungsoo, a smile remained on his face and he looked like he was about to say something else, but he paused the words last second as his eyes lowered from Kyungsoo's face and to something else.  Baekhyun set the bird down and leaner closer towards him, a hand steadied on the coffee table.

 

Kyungsoo felt himself hold his breath, a wave of heat crept up his neck and surely steamed up his ears, the proximity between them was almost suffocating, and at this short of a distance he could smell the faint, pleasant scent of peach drifting from the latter; perhaps it was his shampoo choice because it was nothing near the other scent of heavy cologne that his sheets somehow still carry.  He was snapped out of his small daze as he felt Baekhyun's other hand grip onto his necklace, he looked down and notice him staring at the charm.

 

"A canary, hm?"  Baekhyun mumbled, and as his eyes hovered back to Kyungsoo's face he realized how strangling the atmosphere was.  So, he apologized before withdrawing back.  "Where... did you get that necklace?"

 

"I got it as a gift," Kyungsoo responded while twirling the charm around with his finger, "I take it you like birds?"

 

Baekhyun shrugged, "sorta'."  He then turned around, as if hearing a voice, and headed off to his bedroom.  He returned with a baby clad in a onesie.  She rubbed at her eyes, weakly due to the traces of sleep still hanging on her features, and gurgled bubbles as he bumped her up in a steady rhythm. 

 

"Hello," Kyungsoo sing-songed, his eyes never leaving her as Baekhyun went around to sit beside him.

 

"Hyun, say 'hi'," Baekhyun urged her in Kyungsoo's direction, her head removing itself from the dip of Baekhyun shoulder so she could look at the new person in front of her.  "This is Kyungsoo."

 

Hyun looked at Kyungsoo with curiosity swimming in her solid, black eyes that were under an umbrella of long lashes.  She whined as she outstretched her small, grabby hands towards him, almost begging to be held.

 

"Wow, I can't believe she just played me like that," Baekhyun scowled as he passed her giggling vessel on to Kyungsoo, "it took me a week for her to finally not cry around me, but she wants you on the first try?  I call black magic on your baby magnet skills," he uttered with crossed arms, his frown only becoming more meaningless as she looked back at him with her glittering eyes.

 

"How old is she?"  Kyungsoo asked, oblivious to the child's hands as she pulled on his nose.

 

"Just turned three."

 

"Wait, so when you go out to do your work do you leave her home alone?" his gaze upon Baekhyun turned more disappointed as the latter nodded.

 

"Although, I do try to get home quicker than usual," Baekhyun excused himself, "There's really nothing much I can do about it.  I could hire a babysitter but right now I don't know if I can."

 

"Well, you could drop her off at my apartment if you're heading out," Kyungsoo offered, "I don't mind if it's after three o'clock on weekdays.  We don't live too far apart, either."

 

Baekhyun gnawed on his bottom lip, Kyungsoo now recognized it as a bad habit done to soothe away anxiousness.  "Are you sure?  I don't know if I can repay you..."

 

"I'm not doing this for the money," Kyungsoo told him truthfully, "I'm doing this because I want to," he continued, feeling somehow buoyant as Baekhyun's expression changed to that of something awestruck, "take it as a thanks for making things around my home less quiet."

 

«*»

 

"We're here!"  Hyun announces as the trio step inside the house.  "Thanks for opening the door, uncle," she thanks Sehun as she shakes off the snowflakes from her coat before hanging it up.

 

"No problem, kiddo'," Sehun says, bumps his chest with his fist two times, and throws them a peace sign before turning around to retreat back to the living room, but he almost trips as Junmyeon speeds right past him like lightning.

 

"There's my niece!"  He cheers as he envelopes her into a bear hug, lifts her off the ground, swaying side to side as he chants her name.

 

Kyungsoo catches the box of gingerbread cookies before they hit the ground and cradles it in his arms while Baekhyun pounces onto the two and tries to separate them.

 

"Unhand my daughter she looks like she'll combust!"  He screeches while digging his fingers in between the small gap and attempts to push them apart, "why the hell are you so buff?!"

 

"It's called exercise, Baekhyun," Junmyeon remarks without much malice like the usual as he sets Hyun down.  She stumbles over to Kyungsoo and uses him as her anchor while she pretends she's out of breath. 

 

"Junmyeon," Seulgi calls, her head peeking out from the corridor, she pulls back the strand of hair that fell loose behind her ear, "we need some help setting up the karaoke machine."

 

"I call first choice on the song!"  Hyun crows while she follows him down the hall, staggering when she kicks off her last boot. 

 

"Looks like we'll be singing Låpsley all night," Kyungsoo huffs with a secretive smile—the kind that he likes to keep to himself, save for a few exceptions.  He places down the container of cookies on to the ground so he could focus on taking off his coat. 

 

"She learns from the best," Baekhyun points out with a lopsided grin before beckoning, "hey, Soo, turn around for me?"

 

"What now?"  Kyungsoo grumbles, he turns around after hanging up his coat and shoots the latter a skeptic, raised brow.

 

A goofy smile remains on Baekhyun's face as he gives the latter a chaste kiss on the lips, pulls his beanie down below his bushy brows so his eyes are covered, and snatches the box of cookies before running away from his boyfriend's half-hearted complaints.

 

The night fills itself with the melody of depressing indie songs that flow like mist throughout the house and sheen ice poured into burgundy wine swirling in glass, however, not much so for Hyun; she prefers the innocent taste of apple juice, and Kyungsoo; he prefers to stay sober for the long ride home.  Baekhyun, throughout the years, knows all about what kind of personalities can activate when intoxicated with the booze; the aggressive, the emo, the giddy, and the sleepy drunk.  But, somehow, he's everything combined spiked with lemon.

 

"I hate mosquitos so much," he finds himself fuming, spouting a geyser of nonsense that rains on everyone, burning then.  He clings onto Kyungsoo's side and rocks on the couch, "they suck your blood without consent, give you red and itchy lumps, like, it’s a no from me.  Not to mention what kinds if deadly diseases they can spread!" 

 

"That's great, Baek," Kyungsoo says, seemingly prepared to tolerate Baekhyun intoxicated state of mind.  He adjusts his sitting position so Baekhyun can continue mumbling away while Hyun rests comfortably on his other side.

 

"That's not great, it's bad!"  Baekhyun exclaims, "they're the spawn of Satan."  Soon, he finds himself slump, turn into a puddle of glue by the hands of gloominess that washes over him.  "I miss this," he mopes, wrapping an arm around Kyungsoo's chest while bringing his leg over the latter's knee, it doesn't quite work but he refuses to withdraw, leaving himself hanging.  "I really do."

 

"Miss what?"  Kyungsoo questions, and his voice is clad with a feathery touch, wrapping his arm securely around his shoulder all the same; bringing Baekhyun's wondering thoughts back to earth.

 

"This," he answers while resting his cheek against the latter's chest.  He lets his eyes flutter shut, feeling the way his lashes tickle against his cheekbones, and he lets himself drift for a while.  "Us," he murmurs the word against the ash turtleneck which smells like musky pine, "I miss us."

 

"What do you mean?  We live together, don't we?"  Kyungsoo states, Baekhyun's shoulders stiffen.  The bubble they've slotted themselves into goes quiet, the silence thickening, the want Baekhyun had voiced still dangles in the air without a clear answer, but Kyungsoo decides to take the time and brush away Baekhyun's fringe to the sides before pampering kisses onto the crown of his head, his nose remains nestled in Baekhyun's bird's nest.  It's not that Kyungsoo's oblivious, Baekhyun knows this for sure, but he's concerned more so.

 

"Never mind, it's nothing," Baekhyun ends up telling him through a hiccup and a giggle.  He snuggles closer into Kyungsoo, humming in content as the heat from his body comforts the slight ringing in his ears, and without any disruption he dozes to sleep, blanketed by the lamp's soft hue of orange.

 

«*»

 

"How are things going?"  Baekbom asked, his face was hard to make out on the screen as his surroundings are dimly lit; a lantern emitted a weak marigold light, close enough to the camera that it created a slight glare. 

 

"Better than I expected,” Baekhyun responded as he placed the laptop from the table to his lap, "but Hyun is so rowdy, you never warned me I'd get a random wakeup call in the middle of my afternoon nap."

 

"On top of that, she likes birds too, probably would chase after them if she sees once," Baekbom said with a chuckle, "loud like you, bird fanatic like you, so I'd thought you two would get along."

 

"Quite the matchmaker, aren't you?"  Baekhyun teased, grinning as his brother broke out into a small fit of laughter.  "How are things going for you?"

 

"Just as I expected.  The training has been aching my muscles since day one," Baekbom sighed as he ran a hand over his head—a clean buzz cut.  "Although, I wouldn't expect rushing through a battle field any time soon."

 

"Who knows?  Maybe throughout the term it'll inspire you to become a soldier," Baekhyun said as he looked above the screen, eyes lingering on Hyun's hunched figure smashing two alphabet blocks together with uttermost focus, "if you ever do, just remember to come by as much as you can, or Hyun might forget who her dad really is."

 

"Wait, has she started talking?"  Baekbom asked as his most hung open, seeming more concerned than surprised, "she's calling you dad now?"

 

"No, no, don't worry about it, she hasn't spoken her first word yet," Baekhyun assured him, his gaze switching between Baekbom's face and Hyun, "you've been gone for only a few months so I'm sure she still knows you, besides, she's still young and probably won’t remember the time you're gone.  But when she's able to talk I'll make sure she'll video chat with you," his words flow softer with hopes that it would sooth the lines creased onto his brother's forehead.

 

Baekbom's posture remained rigid, the tension releasing itself with a sigh.  "Yeah, you're right," he muttered, "but I regret enlisting now, I miss my little sunshine's face.  I mean, I know I would've done it sooner but the timing was bad."

 

"Then why did you do it?"  Baekhyun asked, his fingers dug harder into the laptop's surface as his brother winced at the question, "why bother enlisting now?"

 

Shifting in place with his eyes roaming elsewhere, which Baekhyun doubted was appealing, Baekbom answered, "ever since... Sooyeon died, things never really were the same—for me, that is.  It was a question as to how I could keep drifting through the years, I guess you could say Hyun was the only thing keeping me steady.  She really is the last gift Sooyeon left for me," he continued after a pause, "but even if I was hanging on I felt my self losing a grip, so, I thought maybe enlisting would help me sort things out."

 

"Baekbom," Baekhyun called, almost reaching out for the latter as he did so, but withdrawing said hand after he realized what he wanted to hold onto, who he wanted to comfort, was out of his reach; so, close, yet so far.  "Look at me."

 

Baekbom let out a deep breath of air that surrendered into a sniff, rubbed at his eyes, and returned his focus to Baekhyun.  "I'm sorry, thanks for putting up with me," he said with a small smile; one that was not formed to display happiness, but rather to share, "I needed a time away from life to think things through, however, I never got one since I spent most of it raising Hyun.  That's why I wanted to enlist in the military after leaving Hyun in the hands of someone I knew would take care of her right."

 

"And you just assumed I would be able to take care of a baby?"  Baekhyun scoffed without the amount of malice expected.

 

"I didn't assume," Baekbom defended, "I knew you would be able to take care of her," he cut off Baekhyun's uprising retort, "and before you try to call me out on that, just look at Hyun right now.  She seems happy and well based on the photos you sent me, and you know why?  Because you did such an amazing job taking care of her, thank you so much."

 

Baekhyun's mouth hung open, still trying to locate the words he wants to say back, but he decided against it and clamped it back shut.  His attention was then swept away by the pelican plushy nudging at his face.  "For me?"  He asked, and took the plushy after receiving Hyun's nod of confirmation.  "Thanks," he said while tapping her nose with a smile, "chickadee." 

 

The toddler raised her hands with intentions of grabbing onto the hand that snaked away from her too soon, giggling as her nose got tapped once more.  The golden moment ended after her attention was stolen away by the music box which laid on the coffee table.  Baekhyun set the laptop to the side, but turned it around so Baekbom could watch them, and picked up the music box from its place to turn the lever.  _'The Sugar Plum Fairy'_ floats throughout the room, constructed by the soft notes which left his skin with tingling with goosebumps.  Hyun, herself, was enamored by the toy, eyes following the ballerina which rotated on a single foot laced with pastel pink.

 

"Y'know," Baekhyun started as he picked up his laptop and left Hyun to play, "she has your nose and eyes, but the rest are traits I'm not familiar with."

 

"I assure you the rest is Sooyeon," Baekbom chuckled.

 

"Yeah, I know," Baekhyun said.  He took an instance to roll Sooyeon's name on his tongue, his voice merely a whisper as he felt satisfied with the way the syllables flowed like a stream.  "Sooyeon... what was she like?  I don't think I've ever met her, actually, but that's probably because dad would murder us if we brought anyone over," he rushed his last sentence as he noticed the sudden discomfort painting Baekbom's features, "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

 

"No, it's fine, I'll tell you," Baekbom rubbed his face with his hands, "well, for starters, she made me really happy with her infectious smile.  When we first met, it was probably love at first sight for me, she was beautiful, but she left quicker than she arrived like a breeze.  I met her again in a café on a whim, gave her my number, and the rest is history," he sighed, nose scrunching up at the realization of his own cheesiness, "she liked you, though, based off the things I told her about you."

 

"Those were all good things, right?"

 

Baekbom didn't answer his question, instead he gave him a smirk and continued, "she thought you were adorable, actually, and would really love to have a younger brother.  She had a passion for photography, you could probably catch her in an abandoned park taking a photo of the swing sets with her polaroid camera.  But I think what made me fall for her was her courage and confidence.  She once stood up for her transgender friend in front of a whole crowd, came back to me with a smile and unscathed, and after that I knew I was in love with her.  Not to mention she was also the one to propose," he fiddled with the ring on his finger, "I think you two would've gotten along."

 

"Yeah," Baekhyun pursed his lips before biting down on his bottom, looked at Hyun, then back to Baekbom.  It was a peculiar feeling that flickered his cold wick back to life, the wax from his spirit's cables dripped away.  Through Hyun, he could almost imagine the girl who showed his brother's heart what true love looked like, the girl who stole his along the way.  He found no means to hate her, and if he never did in the first place then maybe things would've been different, maybe knowing her would've made him different. His fingers remained digging dents onto the laptop's side.  "I think we would've."

 

"Baek..."  Baekbom whispered, faltering slightly as the last time he called the nickname he'd been yelled at not to.  But Baekhyun wasn't mad at him anymore, and he more so missed the feeling of the latter's voice that whipped him into a nostalgic homebound boy.  "This... everything that happened in the past is not your fault.  Me leaving was never your fault, I want you to know that," he continued with a sharp inhale, "and I really am sorry, god, I've wanted to tell you that for such a long time but I've never had the courage.  I just want the way we were to come back from wherever it went, y'know?"

 

"Yeah," Baekhyun murmured, burying his face in his hands for a slight moment to rest his tired features.  He sighed after letting the warm embrace embark away.  "But what we were is long gone, died somewhere in a hole.  You know this, sure, go ahead and try to make things better but it won’t ever be as good as it was.  I trust you to try, I just can’t trust myself." 

 

"You don't have to trust yourself to take the first step," Baekbom whispered, voice soft but powerful like a crashing wave; engulfing Baekhyun in its grasp.  "Take the first steps and keep on going, you can stop whenever and go back when it feels right.  Just know that I'll always be waiting on the other side."

 

"But what if that never happens?"  Baekhyun enquired, "what if I never make it there?"

 

"It's fine if you don't," Baekbom smiled, much broader than it ever had, cutting into his cheeks like blade to stone.  "I'll just make my way over to you."

 

«*»

 

The past few months had been going great for Baekhyun; Hyun started liking him more, he figured this out during her week of learning how to walk, and it was honestly the biggest thing he ever achieved in his life.  She seemed to be content with learning how to roam the earth by herself, whining whenever Baekhyun or Kyungsoo tried to step in, which they did whenever she looked like she was going to fall, and like superheroes they swooped in like a falcon and saved the day.  When she eventually learned to walk the walk, the first thing she did was scuttle over to Baekhyun and hug his legs.  He may or may not have cried.

 

Another thing that made him feel buoyant was the reconciliation of the relationship between him and his brother.  They’ve went over things, cried, argued, but in the end accepted.  Extra company to watch over Hyun while sharing relevant feelings was also something he appreciated.  He felt like things were going to be okay, after Baekbom returned things would be okay.  He’d stop lingering too close to the past that wanted nothing more than to poison him, but now he was walking along the tightrope to the other end—solace. 

 

"Do you like Kyungsoo, Hyun?  I like Kyungsoo," he confessed aimlessly to the child who walked carefully across the side walk, too lost in thought to process the words that escaped out of his lips.  Her eyes downcast as she seemed to be counting every step accomplished, her hand fit perfectly in his.  He never expected her to be listening let alone respond, so it caught him off guard as she spared him a glance; her dark eyes filled with glistening stars which held no specific answer, just the vague concept of one.  She refocused her attention to the ground afterwards, continuing her steady stroll.

 

They took a turn around the corner and continued walking until reaching the doors of Kyungsoo's house.  Baekhyun tapped his foot against the 'welcome home' mat, as if perhaps he'd buy more time to stall what would come next, heart beaten faster than his rhythm against the carpet.  Kyungsoo had recently bought a house—a bungalow—and moved in a few days ago.  Baekhyun had pointed out that there was no need for him to be living in such a large place if he never used any other room besides the bedroom, washroom, or kitchen.  But Kyungsoo had insisted that an upgrade was necessary, for whatever reason Baekhyun hadn't a clue.

 

**Becky - Today at 4:13 P.M**

>>we have the arrived

>>dont keep the princess waiting

 

**Kyung to the Soo - Today at 4:15 P.M**

>>Best for the both of us, but bear with me because I'm still getting snacks

 

**Becky - Today at 4:16 P.M**

>>u brought a cuisine?????

>>we just going to the park chill lmao but her majesty will appreciate the gesture

 

The sound of the door creaking open caused Baekhyun to snap his head up, smiling at the figure who approached outside of the house's humble clutches.  Just as expected, a basket hung from Kyungsoo's arm, swaying as he was put in motion.  After the door had been locked, Kyungsoo turned around to greet Baekhyun with his beautiful smile that whisked him away like the autumn breeze which carried away the fallen colours of copper and scarlet.  The rest of the words flowing out of the latter's plush lips were gibberish; a melody constructed by an orchestra, Baekhyun found himself nodding along.

 

"Well, aren't you a pretty gem?"  Kyungsoo cooed as he bent down to Hyun's level so he could give her nose a wiggle, she giggled at this as she always did, and she didn't need to be entertained for just his mere presence was enough to make her hyper.  "Up?"  He offered, and when she outstretched her arms towards him he took the chance and hoisted her up on his shoulders. 

 

"Here, lemme' take that," Baekhyun said, slipping off the basket and equipping it to his side.  While Kyungsoo was distracted by Hyun's antics, he attempted to lift the lid and take a sneak peek at the content inside.

 

"Hey, no looking until we get there," Kyungsoo scolded as he smacked Baekhyun's wandering hand, corking a corner of his lip upwards in amusement as Baekhyun started to whine. 

 

"I don't see the point in keeping things hush-hush.  We're gonna’ find later out, anyway, so lookin' won't so any harm," he persisted while he trailed after Kyungsoo who already embarked on their journey.

 

"But it's a special surprise," Kyungsoo shot him down while removing a hand from Hyun's knee and moving it to caress the small of her back, "plus, I made it, so my rule."

 

"You're unbearable," Baekhyun groaned as he skidded over to Kyungsoo's side, careful not to drop the basket. 

 

"But you always let me win, so what can I do?" Kyungsoo teased as he bumped their hips against each other lightly. 

 

"That's only because Hyun loves you, so what can I do?"  He shot back, feeling satisfied with bending the latter's last words and using it as his own.  "You're intolerable, annoying, disrespectful to the elders," Baekhyun went on, feigning ignorance to the arched eyebrow sent his way, "the list goes on and on."

 

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes in mock annoyance as he placed a hand on Baekhyun's shoulder and pushed him away.  "Wipe that smile off your face, it's making me uncomfortable," he snapped, the pace of his strides increased to distance himself from Baekhyun's howl of laughter.

 

Baekhyun decided to leave him be, trailing right behind him with pent up laughter he struggled to conceal.  Although, what sent a small jab of confusion was the way he found himself subconsciously rubbing the place Kyungsoo had touched; he wasn't doing so to sooth the sting of the pain, but rather to search for the ghost of the latter's touch.  As soon as his eyes left his open hand, they wandered to Kyungsoo's walking figure, perfected with how well Hyun belonged in the scene, which brought a wave of tranquility to his being.  Calming like the wildfowl which glides over a silent suburb, it's loose feathers drifting into the palms of wide-eyed children who's never would've thought that the sky offered more than just stars, rain, and snow.

 

As he loosened his shirt's collar with his finger, he came to a conclusion that feeling—a feeling that boiled bubbles in a barren bathtub—was something sex could never give him, not ever in his life telling from the path he'd follow.  The problem that forms bile in his throat is that this was a feeling he never would be able to smile and claimed he own, because things between Kyungsoo and him aren't like that, they will never be until someone takes the leap which would lead to the other side or a plummeting death fall.  He's too much of a coward to take any risks, but if the red string remained tied to his finger he'll remain standing on that ledge.

 

Once they reach the entry of the park, Kyungsoo set a giddy Hyun who's ready to roam free amongst the blades of emerald and flowering jewels.  They let her walk across the terra-cotta path, always staying a few centimeters behind in case of any mishaps. 

 

"We should set base under that tree," Baekhyun suggested as he pointed to said tree which seemed to be a few meters ahead, planted on a hill that didn't seem too steep to climb. 

 

"Sure," Kyungsoo agreed as he nudged Hyun towards that direction.

 

The toddler seemed to understand the plan, so she sped over to the hill, despite the two adult's protests behind her, but stumbled as soon as she her foot hit the grass.  But, luckily, what cushioned her fall were the blessings of nature, and with determination to make it to the stronghold, she resorted to crawling up the hill.  She was nimble on all fours and once making it to the top she stood up and clapped her hands, cheering for her own achievement under the shade of the whistling leaves.

 

"Hyun, don't do that next time you almost scared me," Baekhyun chided as he crossed his arms in front of her, giving his countenance the extra spice it needed to appear as an angry parent, but that's not what he exactly was nor was it something he could commit to.  So, instead of playing the bad-cop, he scooped Hyun up into his arms and gave her a tight hug.  It was punishment, of course.

 

"Almost had a heart attack when she nearly fell onto the concrete," Kyungsoo sighed as he pinched Hyun's cheek before setting up the picnic.  "So I prepared sandwiches, although I brought some baby food—crushed bananas and strawberries if Hyun couldn't eat them," he said as he took the plates out and set them onto the blanket, "the sandwiches are packed with ham, cheese, mayo, and cucumber."

 

"Kyungsoo, how could you?!"  Baekhyun gasped as he twirled around to face him, setting Hyun down in the process, "you know I despise cucumbers."

 

"They won't stab you," Kyungsoo deadpanned, "besides, you need to eat more."

 

Baekhyun scoffed, "said who?"

 

"Said me," Kyungsoo stated as he set the sandwiches onto the plates, "while it's good that you diet and all, skinny to the bone isn't necessarily healthy.  You look tired all the time despite having well hours of sleep, you whine about how hungry you are but you don't do anything about it, you might eat all my cooking but I'm not sure if it's only to please me.  Baek, I'm worried about you," he continued, cutting off Baekhyun's chance to retort, "but if you won’t eat for yourself, then eat for me."

 

Baekhyun stared at him, quite astonished as to how much Kyungsoo had been watching over him.  It's not that he intended to diet, it's just that habits are hard to break, and the latter's cooking was more than able to bring back bits of his appetite he believed to be long gone.  After standing there for another pause, he sighed in defeat, "okay, fine, I'll eat them."

 

"Good," Kyungsoo smiled up at him, his gaze following the latter as he crouched down to settle himself onto the carpet.

 

Baekhyun reached over for a sandwich, looked at it for brief moment, then bit off a large piece of it off.

 

"You can eat just one if that's what you feel up to," Kyungsoo said as he leaned closer to pat Baekhyun's food-filled cheek, "cute."

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and continued eating, ignoring the unwavering heat that crept up his neck like a phantom—so close to strangling him by the neck if it went any further.  But as his eyes wandered elsewhere he sputtered, almost dropping his sandwich, as he witnessed the sight of Hyun’s small figure tumbling down the hill towards a flock of pigeons.  They both seemed to have noticed this because as once as she jumped upon the gathered birds, the shouts escaped their lips akin to the pigeons which flown away with a quarrel. 

 

“Hyun, come back up here and eat before you go play again,” Kyungsoo beckoned, Hyun got up to her feet, turned around, and complied. 

 

“Ahh, I think I might get one of those kid leashes on her, she’s always scurrying around,” Baekhyun sighed with a shake of his head as he continued eating. 

 

“Might as well,” Kyungsoo agreed as he patted off the dirt and bits of grass off of Hyun’s knees.  “If you wanna’ be a reckless adventure at least give us a head up,” he chided at the child, although, never failing to mirror her smile. 

 

Hyun plopped herself down onto the carpet and allowed Kyungsoo to feed her the mashed bananas in strawberries, ignoring Baekhyun’s commentary; _“That kinda’ looks like diarrhea,”, “No one asked for your opinion, Baek.”_

 

Confused with why another spoonful of food wasn’t delivered to her mouth, she turned her head to Baekhyun, then back to Kyungsoo; the two were playfully bickering again.  Seemingly fed up with the loss of attention, she placed her hands on Kyungsoo’s lap.  “Papa!”

 

The words sent back and forth came to an abrupt stop, silence thickening with layers of discomfort.  Baekhyun choked on his sandwich while completely dropping it out of his hand.  His eyes flickered to Kyungsoo who sat still as a stone, his grip on the container of baby food and spoon tightened, his eyes narrowed to an oblivious Hyun, and his jaw was slacked ever so.  Of all the first words Hyun could’ve chosen from, it just had to be that.

 

“No, Hyun,” Baekhyun said very slowly as he tried to control the situation, “that’s Kyungsoo, not papa.”

 

Hyun looked at him, small lines scrunched up on her forehead as she pouted.  “Papa!” she repeated as she turned to Kyungsoo, she then turned back to him and pointed a finger, “Daddy!”

 

Baekhyun’s eyes widened, almost mortified, as he placed a hand over his gaping mouth.  He shook his head frantically, “No, Hyun, I’m not your daddy.  Your daddy is somewhere else right now.”

 

“No, Daddy, here!”  She shouted again, frustrated with Baekhyun’s persists that he isn’t. 

 

He sighed, there was not a chance when arguing with a toddler, so for now he decided to allow her to call him that.  Eventually, Baekbom would come back into her life and change things, hopefully.  “Okay, fine, I’m daddy,” he surrendered as he hoisted Hyun into his arms.  He cautiously glanced at Kyungsoo who still seemed to be stricken with shock, his breath hitched as their eyes met and steadied contact for more than he’d want.  “Look, uhm, I’m sorry about that.”

 

“No, no,” Kyungsoo waved it off, “It’s fine.  Once you work with children for a long while you can get used to it.”

 

“Oh,” Baekhyun sighed, relief sunk into his bones.  “That’s good, but are you okay with it?  Like, really, she might be calling you that until she grows out of it.”

 

“Well, I kinda’ think It’s cute, and it’ll be fun to joke about it in the future and embarrass her,” Kyungsoo admits, Baekhyun catches the corners of Kyungsoo’s lips twitch before the latter turns his head away.  Kyungsoo turned his head back to him, a straight faced, but the ghost of a smile seemed to insist on haunting, “But if I suffer as the papa, then I’m dragging you down with me and you’re gonna’ be her daddy until the end.”

 

Baekhyun felt a laugh erupt from his lips, a grin forming was the aftermath, the breeze of wind brushing his features made them feel sharper.  “Alright, fair enough.”


	2. (2/2)

«*»

 

Hyun grumbles as she tries to tie the laces on her skates.  The pair that was bought for her was missing the laces, so with Baekhyun’s negotiation skills (he almost threw the cashier) they could get free laces.  The problem is; the laces are too long, probably the size of Kyungsoo’s leg.

 

“Pumpkin’, let me do it,” Kyungsoo says as he bends down and takes hold of the long laces that just won’t leave the ground despite many ties.  He unties all the knots Hyun had created, much to her dismay, and wraps the loose laces around the boot, after getting it to a nice length he finally ties it into a bow.

 

“Okay, I’m ready to learn, papa, take the wheel,” Hyun grins, ambition flares in her eyes like a wildfire, burning away everything in her path.  With Kyungsoo steadying her, she makes it slowly into the rink, eyes glued to the floor as she watched her every step with precaution. 

 

It’s a familiar concept to Baekhyun, his gaze and smile following Hyun from the moment she stood up from the bench and took her first few steps onto the flooring of sheen ice.  He leans against the barrier, peering through the wall of glass as he watches Kyungsoo help Hyun find her wobbly legs find balance.

 

“Okay, I think I’m okay now,” Hyun huffs as she stands straight, and as she parts her legs she feels the blades of her skate slide against the ice.  If such a small movement could create an impact like that, then it’s a wonder what going full speed would feel like.

 

“The trick to skating is to not think of it like walking.  Just push and glide,” Kyungsoo instructs as he moves his full grip from her shoulders to her hand.  “Don’t worry about falling, if you slip I’ll catch you.”

 

“I think I’ve watched enough of the winter Olympics to know what to do,” Hyun jests, and she tries to find her wings to fly as she follows Kyungsoo’s encouraging pull throughout the rink.  It’s rough—she trips on her feet every now and then as she can’t follow her feet, she’s stepping too much on the ice, and with how fast paced things are doing she trips when she forgets to plant both feet down, Kyungsoo catcher her but his reaction is late, so the least he could do was lessen the damage. 

 

“I really don’t think the Olympics help you at all,” Kyungsoo chuckles, despite her fall, as he helps her up and pats her coat.  “You also need to know your limits.  You’ll be prone to more butt-to-ice contact if your legs are tired.”

 

She purses her lips and nods, turning her head to locate Baekhyun who’s giving her a thumbs up for effort.  The passion in her eyes dims with the reality that ice skating isn’t as easy to her as she thought it would be, but she’s still willing to overcome and conquer, and with that goal now set in her mind the passion flickers back to life.  “Do you skate well?”  She asks him.

 

“I suppose so, started skating when I was a lot younger, but I was just like you when starting out.  Maybe more reckless since I went home with tons of bruises,” he replies, turning to look at Baekhyun as well.  “Do you wanna’ take a rest over there and watch me warm up?  The Olympics shows you how to do a quadruple axel, but maybe I can show you the basics.” 

 

Hyun nods as she moves her hands away from Kyungsoo’s to adjust her beanie.  Once she slips it back in place, they glide over to where Baekhyun is.  Kyungsoo makes sure she’s holding onto the wall, and after doing so he heads out onto the ice.  His movement is fluid; each stride and glide flowing smoothly like a river’s stream.

 

“Has he always been that good?”  Hyun asks Baekhyun.  She turns around, her grip never leaving the wall, so she can face her father, tapping against the glass for good measure.

 

“Yup,” he nods, “I’m quite surprised your old man hasn’t gotten rusty.”  He presses his face against the glass, snickering as Hyun persists to tap against it.  “He played a lot hockey with your uncle Sehun and Junmyeon when we were at the early stages of our relationship.  I sat outside of the rink with the other girlfriends whom I all out-cheered when it came to encouraging their boyfriend.  I really hated it, though, since the arena was always so cold, but I guess you gotta’ do what you gotta’ do for your man.” 

 

“Papa playing hockey?  I never would’ve thought,” Hyun giggles, “dad, you really loved him, didn’t you?”

 

“Yeah, I sure did, still do,” he sighs, but a smirk forms on his face right after, “but 'm not so sure if it’s a good thing, y’know your papa’s really lazy he makes me do all the dishes and—“

 

“Hey!  No talking trash behind my back,” Kyungsoo warns as he skates to them, “besides, I cook, you clean.  We made that deal a long time ago,” he says with a wagging finger, his tone may sound stern but he’s got Baekhyun in a small fit of laughter. 

 

“Dad, you should join us, come skate,” Hyun encourages.  “You brought your own pair of skates so it would be a waste if you didn’t join us.”

 

“No, my days of skating are over,” Baekhyun mutters, acting as if he’s having a war-flashback.  “I’m just wearing this to fit the fashion theme of the arena.”

 

“That just means he doesn’t know how,” Kyungsoo snorts.

 

“I do!  Just moderately, I know how to balance, that’s about it,” Baekhyun contradicts.

 

“I tried teaching your dad how to skate,” Kyungsoo tells Hyun, “but he accidentally cut my finger with one of his falls and vowed never to touch the ice ever again.”

 

Baekhyun shoots down the rest of their urges for him to hit the ice with them, and after a while of bickering, it leans towards his favor and they’re back to the center of the rink.  Time slips by faster than he’d expect, what seems like minutes end up as hours, and as soon as he knows it Hyun’s got the hang of things already.  She’s speeding around the ice and dodging everyone that stood in her path, despite Kyungsoo’s many protests against it, but you just can’t control a falcon like her, not unless you can match up to her tempo.  Baekhyun’s quite amazed at how fast she’s able to learn things. 

 

“You should join us, dad,” she suggests again as she stops by him, she’s been keeping it up and asking him every five minutes.  “It’s really fun.”

 

“I know it’s fun, I can tell, chickadee,” he holds his ground, “but like I said, I don’t want to.”

 

“Please?  Just for the last ten minutes we have left before the arena closes.  I bet you’re really good too, like, if you think you’re handsome then imagine handsome on ice,” she coaxes.

 

“Hyun, flattery won’t get you anywhere.”

 

“But my skates will, and so will yours, so, please join us.”

 

“Yeah, we only got like ten minutes left, you might fall during the first ten seconds but I’ll catch you,” Kyungsoo pipes in as he glides by.

 

Baekhyun sticks a tongue out at him, sighs but concedes, “okay, fine, but only this one time.”  He steadily walks from his place and enters the rink with a cheering Hyun who latches onto his arm.

 

“Congratulations, father, you have joined the renegades,” she smiles before setting out to the center of the rink, beckoning him to follow.

 

Baekhyun looks at his feet, which are close to losing its balance as his blades don’t grip well onto the ice, then back at Hyun who’s still waving her arm at him—she never knows when to quit, something both him and Kyungsoo don’t know much about.  He decides to take the leap, off one branch to another without wings, and finds himself halting in place after the first push.  He feels unsteady already, his arms outstretch to search for any type of balance, but as there is none to redeem itself useful, he footing slips.

 

“Baek!”  He hears Kyungsoo shout, an arm snakes around his torso and bicep, pulling him up right.  “Close call,” Kyungsoo murmurs under his panting breath.  He looks down at Baekhyun’s skates and gives it a small kick, but the reaction is more than he’d ask for and Baekhyun completely trips.  To prevent the impact of the fall, Kyungsoo pulls him back up with his all his might and into a hug, his arms wrap securely around the latter.  A beat of pause, then two, and they part so Kyungsoo can inspect the issue.  “Is something wrong with your skates?  Did they sharpen it right?”

 

“I don’t know, probably,” Baekhyun replies, his arms remain wrapped around Kyungsoo’s waist.  He turns his head to the latter; their proximity is close enough that he can feel their warm breaths clashing with the arena’s cold atmosphere.  A lopsided grin corks at the corner of his lips as he tilts his head to the side, “if so, I guess you just gotta’ stick beside me the whole time,” and before the latter can respond, he snatches the moment and closes the gap between them to press a kiss against his lips.  It tastes cold but his insides are certainly warmed.

 

Kyungsoo wrinkles his nose and pushes Baekhyun back, his palm making direct contact with the latter’s face, his ears are burning red but Baekhyun knows that takes more than just the chilliness of the arena to accomplish.  “I was going to do that in the first place.”

 

Baekhyun giggles at Kyungsoo’s dismay, but regardless, holds onto his boyfriend’s hand and lets the latter guide him to the center.  He thinks the scene would make a great social media post, but he doesn’t think he can whip out his phone in a state like this, so, he decides to recapture the image in his mind.

 

«*»

 

“I’m worried about him, he hasn’t answered my messages in weeks,” Baekhyun muttered over the phone as he cleaned up the mess of toys scattered onto the living room floor.

 

“Maybe he’s just really busy?  My brother recently came back and he’s told me many stories about it, nothing good to be honest,” came Kyungsoo’s response on speaker.

 

“I know… but I can’t help but feel something’s wrong,” Baekhyun said as he stood up from his crouching position with a handful of toys, picked up the phone from the table, turned off the speaker, and slotted it back between the dip of his shoulder.  “I guess I’m just paranoid.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Kyungsoo comforted him, now was a good chance to change the topic, “Anyway, how was Hyun’s first day of kindergarten?”

 

“Oh!  She made the best impression on the teachers with that one dance I taught her, I bet they thought she was irresistibly cute,” Baekhyun chuckled as he set the toys back into the box meant for them, “she also made a masterpiece in the arts and crafts section.”

 

“What did she make?”

 

“Drum roll please,” Baekhyun ordered, snickering as he heard the sound of fingers drumming against the table on the other end, “okay, prepare yourself.  Our dearest Hyun made a portrait of a macaroni... with smaller macaroni and glue!”

 

“Stunning!”  Kyungsoo gasped, “Leonardo da Vinci must be shaking in his grave right now.”

 

“I’ll let her know you said that, lemme’ send you a picture of it right now—“  He was interrupted by the sudden chime of the doorbell.  “Oh, I think there’s at the door,” he said, brows furrowed in confusion, as he made his way over, “stay right there and I’ll be back.”  He placed his phone onto a nearby table, then unlocked and opened the door.

 

"Oh, hello," greeted the stranger outside, his head hung low but instantly snapped up at the sound of the door.  He fumbled with something in his hands, too covered for Baekhyun to identify it.  "Are you Byun Baekhyun, brother of Byun Baekbom?"

 

"Yes, that would be me," Baekhyun replied, quite tentatively because it's not often people come looking for him.  Unless a client had recommended him, then perhaps, but the man seemed too weary to want his services, didn't seem like he wanted to be here for long either.  But the mention of his brother's name caught him off guard, who was this stranger?  A friend?  Perhaps, but he'd doubt Baekbom would ever tell anyone of his whereabouts.  "What's it to you?"

 

The stranger sighed as he scratched the back of his neck, hesitant to reach out, but as his eyes narrowed onto the item in his hand, unsure whether to outstretch or not, he finally gave it to Baekhyun; an envelope.  "Open this after I tell you something you need to know."

 

Baekhyun looked at the envelope, his address was written on the bottom corner and somewhere along the lines he caught the trace of Baekbom's name—everything was done in the latter's hand writing.  "What's this?"  He asked, "a letter?  What for?"

 

"The news might not be something you'd favor, but bear with me and I apologize beforehand," the stranger said, slowly as he let the words wrap around Baekhyun's mind, prepare him.  "Your brother... you might've noticed his sudden absence as of last month."

 

"Yes, that's true, although, it's been a little over a month," Baekhyun corrected him, his grip on the envelope tightened as he braced himself for whatever was going to bite him and poison his blood right after he'd expelled it.

 

"Right," the stranger nodded, while pursing his lips he continued, "Baekbom has passed away.  He was a passenger in a vehicle that lost control on a rainy night and drove into a ditch.  The accident killed him and gravely injured the driver—"

 

Baekhyun was already lost in confusion's maze at that, the words 'I’m sorry for your lost' flew over his head.  He felt the air turn cold, freezing his insides with frost as it passed through his lungs.  "It can't be true," he murmured, his legs gave out strength already, but he dared not to let his head sink underwater, "you're lying!  If he's dead, then why hasn't any officials informed me?"  He shouted, finally snapping the twig off the branch off the dying tree, "hell, he's been dead for a while, hasn't he?  I was waiting for him with a smile, but all this time he's been fucking dead!"

 

"Calm down, please, I know it's hard to accept this," the stranger tried comforting him, flinching as Baekhyun scoffed in return, "but the only people the officials knew to contact was his parents.  When they questioned them about you they told them nothing, so we hit a dead end."

 

"Then how did you fucking find me?"

 

"I..."  The man trailed off to something, zoning about for a bit before returning, "...was friends with him—Baekbom—in the military.  I started my term way before him and it was nice meeting a new face, anyway, one day he told me if anything ever happened to him I'd give the envelope to you," he said, beckoning at the letter, "and I know that the news is groundbreaking, I was there when it was announced.  So, as soon as my term ended I went out to find you."

 

"Okay," Baekhyun breathed, he felt a bit calmer but lightheaded more so, although, if anything the iceberg was surely reaching the breaking point.  "Thank you for doing that," his eyes hovered up from the floor and back to the man's face who stumbled a few paces back at the sudden eye contact.  "What's your name?"

 

"Zhang Yixing," he said, bowing slightly, "It's Zhang Yixing."

 

"Thank you, again," Baekhyun returned the bow of courtesy, his hands wandered to the door's handle, preparing to shut it, "Yixing."

 

And after a nod sent by the latter, Baekhyun closed the door.  He let out a shaky sigh, his grip never left the handle and he found himself slumping against the door.

 

"Baekhyun!"  The voice from his phone called, oddly blending into white noise, Baekhyun would propose he's deaf.  "Are you... okay?"

 

"Heard everything, right?"  Baekhyun asked, finally drifting away from the door, not bothering to lock the door as he picked up the phone and let his feet carry him to the couch.  With another deep breath that whist away with the currents—there's no wind blowing, but he feels as if there’s a force threatening to push him to the ground and spit on him—he plopped onto the couch. 

 

"Yeah... I'm sorry if that's not something you wanted me to know," Kyungsoo said, his voice trailed off into a whisper but kept its strength; covered in molasses that it stuck onto Baekhyun relentlessly, "but this isn't something I can ignore.  If you want me to be there, let me know, please," and it's quite odd, he's the one that's pleading.

 

"I don't need that, you don't need to come here," Baekhyun spat, feeling the way his voice wobbled at the end—quivering tremors that threw him off the spectrum, and just like that, his breathing grew ragged, hurried, desperate.  "I'm fine."

 

"For God's sake, Baekhyun, admit it, you're not.  I know this hurts so damn much but you gotta' let me in just this once," Kyungsoo shot back, it was the abrupt end of the chase, a slap of reality that seemed to bruise Baekhyun's cheek.  "I don't want you to suffer alone, not again, Baekhyun, I care so much about you."

 

"That's nice," Baekhyun laughed dryly, his throat was parched, cracking away pieces of himself as he swallowed.  "But isn't this what you want?  What about what I want?  Do you know what that is?"

 

"Baekhyun—"

 

"I want you to leave me the fuck alone for once," he exclaimed, almost growled, as he hung up.  His fingers hovered over the screen, tempted to press Kyungsoo's contact and call the latter again, because if anything isolation is not something he'd wish to greet.  He knows Kyungsoo meant well, but he's not sure if that transpired with sincerity or damned pity.  It's too late to regret, anger had bedridden his senses, so with frustration he ripped the envelope open and spilled out the contents onto the table.

 

Out came the anticipated letter, folded in half with the words 'for Baekhyun' on the blank, white section of the fold.  He opened the letter.

 

_Dear Baekhyun,_

_If you're reading this then something has happened to me, we can only pray that your eyes don't lay upon this letter.  However, if the worse has passed its prime, then I want to apologize for leaving you so suddenly.  I never planned to.  You, I hope, never wanted this to happen, but it did.  I wrote this because I knew our parents wouldn't speak word of your whereabouts—they don't know nor care.  And I know what you're thinking right now; no, Baekhyun, this is not your fault.  Please stop blaming yourself for everything because you can never be accountable for things you never wronged._

 

_I wrote this to tell you all the things I've wanted to say but never had the balls to do so, and I hope you forgive me for cowering behind this paper.  I want you to know, despite everything I've said, that I’m proud of you.  I'm proud that you've been able to find ways to support yourself when no one else would, I'm proud that you could raise Hyun better than I ever could, and I'm proud of the person you are now, not who you were in the past.  I'm glad that you've met Kyungsoo, you don't talk much about him and I think that's out of respect for the only time we have with each other, but I think he's a nice person, he makes you happy.  Don't go commando on me, I've seen the way your eyes twinkle when you talk about him, so I wish you the best of luck._

 

_In my will I've written that all my money will go to your bank account.  That is my thanks for taking Hyun into your hands, and I'm so sorry for leaving her with you like this, but I wouldn't want anyone else to raise her.  If she ever stumbles upon this letter or has grown mature enough I want you to tell her who her father and mother were, I want you to tell her everything.  It's only fair that she knows.  You don't have to bring up pictures or anything because I know you still have the ones from our middle school era, please don't show her those._

 

_I feel sad at the thought that I'll miss watching my little girl grow up, I'll miss her sixteenth birthday and I’ll miss her wedding if she ever has one.  Haha, remember to watch out for her love life!  This will be all for my letter, I hope it's just enough for you.  We've had a rocky start with meeting again, but I'm glad things are getting better, I hope when you're reading this you won't hate me or cry for me.  I don't like you like that.  I love you from the moon and back, my little bro Baek._

 

_Sincerely, Baekbom._

 

Baekhyun's hands shake as he held the paper, it felt like gold because it's the last present he'll ever receive from Baekbom.  It's the last thing Baekbom had ever made; the last thing was for him.  So, it's not surprising as a sob wrecked through the walls he built.  Tears prickled his eyes, forming larger as they slide down the bridge if his nose, rolling off the tip and staining the letter.  He set the letter down so it wouldn't be ruined any further.

 

Another weight sets itself against him, and within a snap the defensive walls shielding his heart collapsed into a heaping mess of ash and memory.  He hunched his back and covered his face in his hands, trying to suffocate the sobs that spilt out if his lips like a waterfall, never ending and crashing down with heavy impact.  Hyun would be asleep at this time, so he tried to soften his cries, but doing so made them escape uglier. 

 

The sound of the door opening and closing were of no bother to him, nor was the sound of footsteps that padded cautiously.  He lifted his head up when the feeling of the couch sinking beside him transpired.  "I told you not to come," he murmured hoarsely, voice too weak to yell.  He spared only a glance to Kyungsoo before staring back to nothing.

 

"I know you did," Kyungsoo acknowledged, his voice was soft as if he were speaking to glass, eyes shifted from the letter then back at Baekhyun.  He scooted closer, knocking their knees together in the process.  "But here I am."

 

Perhaps that's what Baekhyun needed, someone to be here.  The thought cut him with its brazen talons, another wound that bled, another scar to keep.  The tears welled up again, rolling down his face faster, thicker, leaving a trail behind in its wake.  His shoulders heaved along with his shaky breath as the sobs wouldn't stop spewing; it was melancholy's melody, prim and grim.

 

Suddenly, the embrace of Kyungsoo's arms tugged him into a hug, never faltering even as Baekhyun resisted.  It was warm, his faced pressed against the latter, comforting even.  This made him cry harder.  As Kyungsoo tightened the hug, so did Baekhyun; draping his own arms around the latter with every last drop of strength he had, he tried his best to display gratitude. 

 

They toppled over, Baekhyun's back against the cushions while Kyungsoo still loomed over him and embraced him as if he was going to die.  Baekhyun held Kyungsoo as if he was his lifeline, maybe he was.  The room filled with his now steady breathing and Kyungsoo's words of comfort, such words drifted him to sleep.  He was conscious this time to feel the warm thumb that rubbed away the lingering tears in their tracks and the feathery kissed pressed against his eyelids.

 

«*»

 

"Y'know, I used to think about it a lot," Baekhyun began, his eyes lingered off the railing of the balcony and dived headfirst into the city; the lights which sparkled like gems to illuminate the dark, the hustle and bustle of people either going places or walking around trying to find a place to belong.  Loud, for sure, and even if he's lived here for long on nights like these he felt left out.  He turned his head to Kyungsoo who stood beside him, waiting for an emphasize.  "Death, I thought about dying," he continued, ignoring the way Kyungsoo's darkened expression could make him choke, "and my existence never really existing.  I wonder how the world would be like."  He looked back down at the city streets.  "Not much would change."

 

"I think..."  Kyungsoo started, breeding his own hatched thoughts, "that a world without you would be a much quieter one," and despite Baekhyun's laugh, he's not laughing with him, his countenance remained like stone—a carving untouched, but it's beautiful never the less with the lighting casted upon him, Baekhyun thought.  "Lonelier, even."

 

"Yeah, a lonelier place for my clients," Baekhyun snorted.  The atmosphere had become constricting, air tightening, so he wanted to relieve the tension with a jest.

 

"No," Kyungsoo shook his head, "a world without you would be lonelier for me," his attention was captured by the outside world, ignoring the surprised look on Baekhyun's face, he continued, "I was offered a teaching job.  It's up-broad, though."

 

"Oh," Baekhyun felt a lump form in his throat, too big of a rock to swallow.  He wanted to cough it up, but he was afraid that if he did he might end up coughing something else instead; his heart.  "That's great.  When are—"

 

"I declined it," Kyungsoo interrupted him, finally turning his head to meet his eyes. 

 

At first it was relief, then anticipation, but horror followed right behind, but what could he be so terrified for?  The truth, an answer?  "Why?  Isn't this what you wanted?"  He asked, eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

 

"It's easy to find another teaching job around here, so I don't need to go anywhere," Kyungsoo answered, he inched closer his hand slowly reached to hold Baekhyun's on the balcony's railing.  His grip was light enough for the latter to move away, but once it was clear that neither one of them wanted to, Kyungsoo squeezed a bit.  His gaze never wavering, but his voice was another story.  "But the main reason I chose not to go was... because I didn't want to leave you."

 

The confession was like a strike of lightning to Baekhyun's wings; it paralyzed him, the jolts poked at his body as he began spiraling to the ground—feeling both excited and dreadful at the same time.  His mouth hung open, prepared to say something, but the words were swept away with a gentle pair of lips pressed against his, and for a second he found himself kissing back.  The ground hits him quicker than expected, shattering every bone in his body.  "No," he muttered, repeating the word louder as he pushed Kyungsoo away.  "You should've gone, isn't that what you wanted?  You should've went!"  It's my fault that you didn't, he wanted to shout, but he choked on his own words.  "You're hanging out with a fucked up man, Soo," he spoke without emotion despite the tears that came to haunt his face.  "Don't you feel great?  Good job, you're a hero."

 

"That's not the reason why I chose to stay!"  Kyungsoo snapped, loud enough to startle Baekhyun.  Kyungsoo, himself, recoiled from his actions, taking a step back before coming back into Baekhyun's space—Baekhyun's life.  Kyungsoo pulled the latter into a hug, this time Baekhyun allowed himself to indulge the embrace, muffling his sobs as he buried his face into the other male's shoulder.  "That's not why I fell in love with you, Baek, you're more than that," he whispered as he pulled Baekhyun's face from his shoulder and into his hands, facing each other.

 

"Prove it," Baekhyun murmured, hands clinging onto Kyungsoo's waist, "show me that I'm more than fucked up, because, Soo, I hadn't a clue." 

 

Kyungsoo leaned with closed eyes to brush their lips together; a test just in case the gesture was unfavorable.  Finally, after moments of hesitation, he pressed their lips together with a thumb stroking circles onto Baekhyun's soft skin.  Kyungsoo nudged his tongue in between the latter's lips urgently.  Baekhyun hummed and opened his mouth, letting him feel the roof of his mouth and everywhere else. 

 

Baekhyun grunted as Kyungsoo pushed him up against the wall, although, careful enough not to disrupt the potted plants that resided there.  His grip on the latter's shirt tightened, breaths like hot mist escaped their swollen lips as they parted.  With fluttered shut eyes, he whined as Kyungsoo pampered his face with butterfly kisses that took his tears away, but regardless, found a smile break away like the sun rising from the horizon in the far distance. 

 

He never would've thought that it'd be Kyungsoo to take the leap.  It was Kyungsoo that caught him from falling.  It was Kyungsoo, a crow like every other, that flew in like no other to peck at the chains that constrained his wings from its blaze.

 

«*»

 

"Here's the plan," Baekhyun announces as he slaps the small white board on the table.  With a red marker, he draws a rectangle to represent a café and draws another rectangle below it to represent a bookstore.  "We're in this bookstore while Hyun is having her date at the café, gotta' keep an eye out from afar.  When anything happens we'll just cross the street," he instructs, circling the buildings and drawing a line between them.  "Questions and concerns?"

 

"Yeah, question," Sehun—his only comrade on this mission—speaks across from Baekhyun as he raises a hand, "why are we spying on your daughter's date?  Isn't she like, what, sixteen?"

 

"Fifteen and three quarters," Baekhyun corrects him.

 

"Okay, fine, whatever.  I know Soo has an issue with her dating so how did she even get to go?" 

 

"Well, that's because he doesn't know," Baekhyun points out while trying to do the 'rubber pencil' trick with the marker, "I did her a favor and kept this a secret between us."

 

Sehun furrowed his sharp as hell eyebrows together, "then why are we here?  Why am I here?  Pretty sure Junmyeon could be here instead."

 

"Because, while I gave her secret permission, I don't trust the guy she's going out on a date with.  That's why we hangin' here to save her if anything bad happens, and if anything does happen then she won't be dating until her sixth cat," Baekhyun explains, "you're here because I ain't got faith that Junmyeon will spare the boy's life.  We want to spy and save, not spy and reap first blood.  Also, he might tell Kyungsoo which will lead to another murder."

 

Sehun sighed as he flipped through the pages of the comic book he was reading.  "What if things go well for her?"

 

"Then the boy will have to fight me, fist fight, one on one, blade against blade, manhood versus manhood, emus fighting for dominance—"

 

"Okay, I get it," Sehun cuts him off with another sigh, "Hyun is right, you really need to know how to say 'I'm going to pummel' normally." 

 

Baekhyun scoffs as he places a hand on his chest, he is offended, he really is, "who's side are you on?!"

 

Sehun grins, lopsided as his eyes remain darting over the pages filled with colour and art; a blast of life that left no spot of white.  "I'm just chaotic neutral." 

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he turns his head to look out if the large window, almost jumping out of his seat as he notices the familiar figure barge out of the café's door.  "She's out and angry!  Sehun, standby until orders are given!"  He alerts.

 

"Aye, aye, captain," Sehun deadpans and salutes weakly, not bothering to lift his head up from the book.

 

Baekhyun leans forward with squinted eyes and watches as another figure follows her footsteps outside; her date.  He seems to be confused on what he could've done to make Hyun so angry, Baekhyun knows the boy fucked up, because you can't get Hyun like this unless you're really ignorant.  He's up and out of his seat once he sees the boy grab onto her arm, preventing her to leave even if she persists, words seem to fall out of his moving mouth.  "Sehun, go out there and deal with him!  He's touching her.  This is a code falcon, I repeat, code falcon!"

 

"What the hell is a code fal—okay, wait, never mind.  Why am I going?  Aren't you the one that wants to fight him?"  Sehun asks, flabbergasted as he raises his head from the comic, eyes narrow at Baekhyun. 

 

"Yeah but look at him!"  Baekhyun exclaims while point out towards the guy, "he's a tower compared to me and I don't wanna' start anything bad.  The least you could do is intimidate him, you're taller than both of us.  Now get out there, yeti."

 

Sehun groans, but complies, exits the store, and brisk walks across the street.  If Kyungsoo were here he'd yell at the latter for jaywalking before grabbing him by the ear and dragging him back to apologize to society.  Baekhyun decides to step outside and watch the situation unfold, it's a front row seat to the opera.  He can't hear what they're saying due to distance, but he picks up bits of the conversation.

 

"...Who... you?!"

 

"I'm... Boyfriend, so..."

 

"Wha—..."

 

The rest blends with the cars that zoom pass, but he supposes that Sehun's got this in the bag as the boy backs away.  A smirk is carved onto Sehun's face, intimidating to anyone that doesn't know him but endearing to those who do.  His arm is now wrapped around Hyun's shoulder, she leans into the touch with an arm around his waist, playing along with the situation.  The boy flips them off, turns around, and storms off; that's the end of the show. 

 

"I can't believe you did that!"  Hyun crosses her arms against her chest as both Sehun and her make it back to where Baekhyun is.  "You gave me permission!"

 

"True, I did, but I never not mentioned any additional features to that permission," Baekhyun counterattacks, not too snappy as he wishes not to further sour Hyun's mood.  "Be thankful Papa doesn't know about this, he'd have our heads if he did.  Besides, things didn't end well and what would you have done without us?"

 

"Call Seulgi or Handong," Hyun huffs, Baekhyun deflated at her response.  "But..."  She begins, her angered features soften, "thanks for watching out for me."

 

"How did things even escalate?"  Sehun asks, "I've never seen you this angry after that one incident with Junmyeon accidentally tripping over your pillow fort when you were seven."

 

"That was hilarious," Baekhyun snorts, his shoulders shake with chuckles, "he cried for two days!"

 

"He just turned out to be more on the inside than on the surface, and it showed," she mutters while burying her face into her scarf, "I told him about you and papa, because he seemed nice and I trusted him with this information—he was gonna' find out anyway.  But when I did he started cussing and... called you—” She shakes her head, discarding the memory, "never mind, just... he was bad."

 

"Not everyone is truly nice, Hyun-ah," Sehun shrugs, he fishes his phone out of his pocket, and checks it before putting it back.  "I gotta' go now, Junmyeon just texted to grab some groceries since Seulgi borrowed his car to go to work."

 

"Ahh, yes, you are now excused to attend the errands your mother acquires you to do," Baekhyun teased with puckered lips, squawking before hiding behind Hyun as Sehun attempts to maul him.  "I'm not sure if I should've gave you permission in the first place.  I had a feeling that this might've happened," he tells her after Sehun leaves.

 

"It kinda' blows that things did end this way," Hyun sighs, "but thanks for trusting me, even if you thought I couldn't handle it.  Maybe next time you could have more faith in me," she says with a small smile, and her words aren't as harmful as he'd expect.  "We're not gonna' tell papa about this, right?"

 

"Hell to the no," Baekhyun replies while mirroring her smile, he ruffled her hair, "I'm proud that you left right away when things got bad, owlet."  He then links their arms together and stretched his leg out for a stroll, "let's go home, yeah?"

 

«*«

 

"Soo, please help me with this tie," Baekhyun pleaded as he struggled with the tie on his collar, tugging it here and there but it never seemed to fit together as the 'how-to' instructions portrayed.

 

"Why are you dressed so neatly in the first place?  Isn't this just a parent interview?"  Kyungsoo asked as he stood up from his spot at his working desk, removed Baekhyun's scrambling hands from its place, and did his tie for him—all in neat strokes as if he'd been doing this for centuries.  His eyes followed the chain wrapping around his neck down, smiling at the canary charm that hung better against his chest than if ever did for himself. "You even gelled back your hair."

 

"Try hard, yes, but handsome, right?"  Baekhyun felt a smirk perk at the corner of his lip, growing larger as Kyungsoo scoffed at his witty remark before pressing a small kiss on his lips. 

 

"Sure, whatever," Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, but such retort couldn't suppress the flush in his ears.  He took in a deep breath to pick up Baekhyun's cologne.  "But extra, more so."

 

"Can't help it.  Apparently, Hyun told her whole class on show-and-tell day that she has two dads, I'd give her an 'A' personally, but today she told me how the kids are making fun of her for doing so, for having two dads, Soo," Baekhyun exclaimed with a tired sigh, burying his neck into his boyfriend's shoulder after accepting the latter's hug.  He always felt comfortable doing this, shoving his face in the dip of the latter's shoulder and welcoming the comforting scent.  "The teacher isn't any help, she doesn't seem to want to get involve, probably has the same ignorant opinions as the other kids."

 

"So, dressing hot will accomplish what exactly?"  Kyungsoo asked while wrapping his arms around his waist, swaying side to side like a slow dance designed for their liking; too bad they're not much of dancers. 

 

"I'm making a good point to her," Baekhyun explained, "and when I do I'm gonna' do it while looking hot, because I bet her perception of gays are pretty exaggerated." 

 

"Sounds legitimate," Kyungsoo hummed against his hair. 

 

"Daddy!  It's 5:30 let's go!"  Hyun cheered as she peeped into the room, causing both adults to turn their heads. 

 

"Do you have to go?"  Kyungsoo whined as he resisted letting go.

 

"You've got work to mark, babe," Baekhyun parted from their embrace, took a moment to adjusts the cuffs of his dress shirt, and followed Hyun who's bouncing all over the place with birdbrained excitement.  "Slow down, eyas, you're gonna' bump into something," and just as he finished the sentences, he lunged to pull Hyun away from crashing into a table.  "See, what did I say?"

 

"'m sorry, daddy," she giggled before squirming free from Baekhyun's tickling fingers, "I can't help it!  Never been to school right after leaving!"

 

"Might be fun going there with barely any other kids, yeah?  Who knows, maybe you'll see your friends," Baekhyun said while helping Hyun into her shoes—light up sneakers that also made a 'squish' sound whenever she walked around.  Kyungsoo remarked that the extra features were unnecessary when they bought it, which Baekhyun replied saying how it was an important fashion statement.

 

"I dunno'.  Handong said she was going later," Hyun pouted as she followed her father out the door, holding his hand as they walked down the steps and down the tarmac to the car.

 

"You should invite her over, that way you can see her more," Baekhyun suggested as he started up the car. 

 

"Really?  Like a playdate?"  Hyun marveled when he nodded in response, her eyes twinkling like little stars as if she'd just heard of the best idea; perhaps better than Isaac Newton's theory of physics.  "I'll ask her tomorrow, then!"

 

The car ride was short.  Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had come to an agreement to let Hyun live in Kyungsoo's house on the weekdays since it was closer to school.  Of course, Baekhyun would always drop by and visit, sometimes taking her out to spend some quality daddy-daughter time together, and if he were lucky then they'd spend daddy-daughter-and-papa quality time together.  On weekends, she'd be able to stay at his apartment.  She never grew out of the habit of calling them papa and daddy—things they were not—but it grew on them as the years passed, and eventually they grew accustomed to those names.

 

"Alright, we're here, seatbelt is ready to be taken off," Baekhyun announced after finally finding a parking spot in the sea of cars and rushing pairs of parents with their kids. 

 

Usually, the parents were moms taking the baton in guiding their children through education.  Baekhyun had been there with his mom, always living under her expectations to achieve the best of the best.  Truly, an upbringing like that can only manifest an unhealthy mind at a young age; if you wanted reference then he's your go to man.   That was something he liked about raising Hyun throughout her years of starting school, but he wasn't going to drag her to the limelight every parent fantasized, he planned on holding hand from the beginning and end, supporting her decisions, only stepping in when needed. 

 

Hand in hand, they walked into the building.  Baekhyun hadn't been in her school before, so he let her happily give him a quick tour.  However, while he hid the urge to cringe well, the massive amount of rainbows and terrible art made by kids was much to his distaste.  He just couldn't understand how a drawing of Mr.Potato Man dressed in a lady bug costume could win the 'artist of the month', like, he might have low standards, but really?  He might've been too consumed in dreading his existence while plummeted into terrible finger-paintings to notice the double-takes sent in his direction by many parents who passed him.

 

"We're here," Hyun said while tugging Baekhyun to a classroom door.  The bubbly letters '1B' were taped onto the door's mahogany surface.  Cartoon caterpillars stickers covered the whole door, somewhere ripped after a failed attempt of peeling them off.  Beside the door was chart paper that had ink recording a list, surely, Hyun's name and time was placed somewhere in the middle.

 

Baekhyun peered through the glass window and noticed a woman and her son sitting by a desk, another woman, whom he assumed was the teacher, sat across from them.  After a few minutes passing, the pair headed out of the classroom.

 

"Come in!"  The teacher's voice called, her body leaning from her chair to see who were to walk in.

 

Hyun, taking the lead once more, pulled Baekhyun into the room, even making an effort to help seat him into a small ass chair.  The teacher's professional smile faltered, twitching at the edges as she gazed at Baekhyun.  She stared for too long, he felt uncomfortable under her gaze, so he captured her attention where it should've been with a fake cough.

 

"Ah, my apologizes!"  She blubbered while extending her hand out for a shake, Baekhyun returned the gesture.  "My name is Mrs.Kwang, yet again, I apologize.  I presume you are Hyun's father?"

 

"Yes, biologically I am," Baekhyun responded, mirroring her smile as he did so, he made sure it was sugar-coated, a bait to draw out more hidden behind her plastic smile.  "What?  Were you expecting a hippy dressed from head-to-toe in rainbow?"

 

"N-No, nothing like that at all," her gaze lingered on his face, eyes trailing down for a bit, as if analyzing him, but when he thought she were to go further her eyes flickered to her notebook.  "Hyun is an exceptional student, responsible with work and does her homework.  She's very well-rounded and works well with her peers.  They work well with her too, offering respect—"

 

"Sorry to interrupt," he cut in, once he did her jaw clamped shut, lips thinned.  "But I'm not sure if what you're saying is accurate."

 

Mrs.Kwang chuckled, sounding strained she said, "what could you be referring to?  Mr.Byun, I assure you that what I'm reporting is reliable.  I only mean the best to report your daughter's progress."

 

"But according to what she has told me, apparently, the class has been harassing her.  Are you aware of that?"  Baekhyun contradicted, feeling a bit smug as she shrunk under his words, "ever since they've figured out that she has two dads, instead of a 'normal' pair, they've been degrading her for it."

 

"That's..."  She gulped, "they're just playing around, you know how children are."

 

"Yes, I know how children are, but if something isn't done then this issue won't be considered child's play much longer," he shot back, "but to save your behind, I propose an offer."

 

"And what would that be?"

 

"Educate them.  It's simple, just introduce them to the topic of LGBTQ.  Once they learn then this type of discrimination is stopped."

 

"I'm sorry, Mr.Byun, but it doesn't state that I have permission to do that in the curriculum."

 

"Then what's the point of being a teacher if you're not going to teach them something important?"  He asked, it was a simple question to a trivial matter, "quit your job if you can't stop bullying when you've got the chance to."

 

"This is outrageous," she scowled, "you have no right to tell me what I'm doing is right or wrong.  I am only following with the board tells me to do."

 

"Look, I don't care what the board says, it's all a big scam anyway," Baekhyun remarked while leaning closer, she shrugging at her growing agitation, "If you support raising our generation then it's simple; correct them so they actually learn.  I'm not a world changer, I'm just a realist." 

 

Mrs.Kwang took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose.  "Okay, fine," she conceded, "next Monday I'll follow your recommendation."

 

Baekhyun simpered while leaning back into his chair, his eyes darted to the clock.  "Ah, look at the time," he sing-songed while patting Hyun's head, "looks like our meeting is over.  Time to go home."

 

As they headed out of the building, Hyun perked her head up at him, stopping the pace of their swinging, interlocked hands.  "Daddy, what's LGBTQ?"

 

Baekhyun smiled, lifting her up into his arms so he could press butterfly kisses on her cheek.  "I'll tell you another time, hummingbird."

 

«*»

 

"Papa, look!"  Hyun called as she bounced on the sofa, "I can fly!"  And after proclaiming such statement, she hopped off the cushions with her arms outstretched, expecting them to turn into wings and allow her to soar.

 

"Not on my watch!"  Kyungsoo shouted as he jumped out of his seat at the dinner table, rushed over towards the child, and swooped her into his arms before she could hit the floor.  He mirrored her giggle as he spun her around in the air, making absurd 'whooshing' sounds to enhance the flying experience.

 

"Okay I heard happiness, who's having fun without me?"  Baekhyun piped in from the kitchen, walking into the living room with a snack in hand.  His shirt was damp with drops of water that dripped from his mused hair; fresh out of the shower as his face was flush light pink from the habit of bathing in steaming water. 

 

"Papa, let me down!  I'm a bird that can fly on her own," Hyun persisted as she kicked her feet in the air, urging to be put down, and once Kyungsoo did she began running around Baekhyun with her arms still outstretched. 

 

"Chickadee, I don't think your wings have grown," Baekhyun crooned as he bent down to pinch Hyun's cheek, laughing as she pouted with a low grumble—it was cute. 

 

"When will I have my wings?  I wanna fly already," she mumbled after he let go.

 

"You can fly when your older, trust me."

 

Her eyes lit up like the wind pushing against the curtains, letting the sun escape through the gap.  "Really?"

 

"Yeah," Baekhyun smiled as he poked her nose, "really."  He stood up.  "Now go get ready, I'm driving you to Handong's house in ten."

 

Hyun nodded as she scampered across the floor and towards the staircase to change out of her pajamas.  Baekhyun plopped over onto the couch, scooting over and patting the space beside him.  "This seat isn't going to warm itself."

 

"You're insufferable," Kyungsoo scoffed but complied, watching as Baekhyun adjusted his position so he'd lean against the arm of the couch.

 

"That's my line, get your own," Baekhyun chuckled as he stretched out his feline legs before resting them against Kyungsoo's thighs.

 

"Tiring day doing work?"  Kyungsoo asked as he rubbed Baekhyun's ankle, sliding his thumb across the soft, tan skin—as it was summer, the heat was bound to leave nothing pale unscathed—as he slowly made his way up, stopping at the knees so he could cup them with both hands.

 

A sigh slipped from Baekhyun's lips, deep enough that his whole body heaved.  "Yeah, they were rough again," he closed his eyes as if he were recollecting the past events; the image if his body twisted, grabbed, and intruded caused a frown to bend his lips.  But the smiles of Kyungsoo's and Hyun's face that had awaited him at the front door made the pulsing headache wain a bit.

 

"Want me to massage?"  Kyungsoo offered, following through with his plan after receiving a nod from the latter.  His hands roamed a little above Baekhyun's kneecaps, squeezing lightly every time his hands inched further.  Once he reached Baekhyun's inner thigh, the area he knew ached the most, he began messaging at a calm pace, faltering at Baekhyun's sudden hiss of pain.

 

"One sec," he said as he adjusted his position again.  He scooted closer to Kyungsoo so the latter wouldn't need leaning to reach his thigh, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend's neck to anchor himself as he did so.  "Okay, I'm good, continue."

 

Kyungsoo hummed and continued the pace, only quickening and deepening it after asking multiple times if the other male was doing alright.  He hands rubbed slowly and thorough circles against his boyfriend's shorts.  A small smile formed on his face as he felt Baekhyun's shivers and a relax sigh that ruptured throughout his body once more, but this time they were relaxed—a state he hadn't seen the latter in for a while.  "Feel good?"

 

"Yeah," Baekhyun breathed, his eyes remained fluttered shut, eyelashes dusted against his cheekbones, twitching every now and then.  "Y'know, that's an oddly sensual question."

 

"I will punch your dick," Kyungsoo glared while pinching gently against Baekhyun's thigh, smirking after receiving a whine.

 

"Oh, I suddenly cannot recall what I've just said," Baekhyun brought his legs back towards his body.  "I feel better now," he said after pressing a warm smooch against Kyungsoo's temple, "thanks, sunshine of my life that always lights up my world like honestly damn what have I done to be so blessed—"

 

"God, Baek, you're welcome," Kyungsoo pushed Baekhyun back with a hand against his blabbering mouth, hiding the shy smile that followed with his other hand. 

 

"I'm ready to go!"  Came Hyun's announcement as she hopped into the living room, gestured for Baekhyun to follow, and hopped away to the front door to put on her shoes.

 

"The princess has spoken.  I, Sir Byun, shall now escort her," Baekhyun acclaimed as he stood up and trailed after the girl's ascent.

 

"Stay safe," Kyungsoo called behind him.

 

"You know it."

 

Baekhyun drove back home after accepting Handong's mother's offer on giving Hyun the ride back.  Once he returned, he was greeted by a foreign conversation; there was a voice he had never been accustomed to drifting in the atmosphere.  He walked closer to where the chatting was stationed, halting in place to hide in the darkness so he wouldn't be caught eavesdropping. 

 

"A few years, we've been together for a few years," said Kyungsoo, Baekhyun perked his head to catch a glance of what was going on. 

 

"A few years?"  The man in front of Kyungsoo exclaimed, Baekhyun couldn't see his face as the latter's back faced him, "You've been dating this guy for so long and you've never bothered to tell me or Sehun?"

 

"Junmyeon, I..."  Kyungsoo began as he stared down at his own interlocked hands rested on the table, his eyebrows scrunched up as his posture slouched—he was nervous, the words hanging at the tip of his tongue.  "Sehun knew about him."

 

"Wha—?!  Why didn't any of you tell me?"  Junmyeon exclaimed, bewilderment etched lines into his forehead.

 

"Because we knew you'd be like this!" 

 

"Be like what?"  Junmyeon demanded, his volume increasing as did his anger, "Kyungsoo, listen to me, I'm just trying to protect you."

 

"There's nothing you need to protect me from," Kyungsoo glared at him, a glare like medusa's that was so vile it could petrify, that's probably why Junmyeon's posture stiffened, turning him to stone.  "This is exactly what we were afraid of!  Junmyeon, I know you mean well but you just don't understand, you won't understand if you can't trust me."

 

"I trust you Kyungsoo!  But do you even trust me?"  Junmyeon asked, his volume had subsided from its blaring anger blasted on the speakers, "do you even know what your so called 'boyfriend' has been doing lately?  Do you know that he's been going to nightclubs, seducing men and taking them home?  Because, Soo, I've seen this and if you haven't, then, that's why I'm here."

 

"Yes, I know Baekhyun does that.  That's his job, Junmyeon, and as his boyfriend I have to respect his choice that and support him as much as I can.  Being a sex worker isn't easy."

 

"Kyungsoo," Junmyeon huffed while rubbing his temples, "your boyfriend sleeps with other men for profit; he's a prostitute.  You know that's illegal.  There's always a chance that's he's cheating on you with one of the men he sleeps with and is using you to take care of his kid because you're so nice!  You'll never know if he'll completely abandon her here, hell, maybe that kid is from one of his clients."

 

"Don't you dare drag Hyun into this, that's not a topic I want to talk about," Kyungsoo glowered, "And that won't happen, it isn't happening.  I trust him."

 

"Kyungsoo..."  Junmyeon sighed, as if the arguing had enough weight to tire him out, "it's going to take more than just trust to know something like that won't happen."

 

Baekhyun remained standing there, waiting to step out of his hiding place after Junmyeon left.  Once the man did, he stepped out of the shadows and joined a startled Kyungsoo at the table.

 

"You heard all of that, didn't you?"  He asked, occupying his shivering hands by fiddling with the ends of his sweater's sleeves.

 

"...Yeah," Baekhyun replied, his voice akin to the silence the room was accompanied with.  His heart felt heavy and he knew he shouldn't submit to words from someone he didn't know, Kyungsoo had defended him from beginning to end after all.  Yet, he couldn't help but think what Kyungsoo said wasn't entirely faithful, he wasn't all true to his words, but wanted to believe he was more so.  "I did."

 

"Oh... Uhm, I'm sorry about that, about not telling him that we were together.  I just felt—"

 

"No, it's fine," Baekhyun waved it off, pitching in a smile that didn't feel right on his own lips.  It's fine that you felt ashamed because of me, he wanted to say, but the atmosphere didn't need another hand to suffocate it, so he decided to change the topic.  "Y'know, I think we should go out."

 

"Go out?"  Kyungsoo questioned, he smiled tentatively with an arched brow, "like, right now?  A date?"

 

"Yeah, a date!"  Baekhyun scooted closer to him, "we haven't been on one in a while, and I crave time with my boyfriend.  We could go to—" Just as he began his phone started to ring with incoming texts, all from a client that needed his company.  How _fan-fucking-tastic._  

 

"Are you going, now?"  Kyungsoo asked, his hand clung gently onto Baekhyun's even as the latter stood from his seat.

 

Baekhyun over lapped his fingers against Kyungsoo's and gave him a light squeeze.  "Yeah, 'm sorry, y'know how it is," he said while turning his head to look at the other, which he regretted instantly.  The latter looked as if he'd been smite with disappointment, his frown gave hints of dejection.  The words flew out of Baekhyun's mouth before he had the chance to seize them back, "If you hate what I do just say it."

 

"What?"  Kyungsoo withdrew his hand away from Baekhyun's, coiling back to himself.  "I don't hate what you do, I would never say that... It's just—"

 

"Something you wish I never touched in the first place?"  Baekhyun guessed, and he shouldn't had laughed when Kyungsoo scowled at his response.  But every common sense slipped away from his fingertips like the words he couldn't take back from the wind.  He felt as if there was a fire burning inside his lungs, aching to scorch something, and perhaps those agitated flames were craving to do so for so long.  That's how the suppressed arsonist doused his victim with words of gasoline, tossing the match that would ignite a wildfire.  "Or is it that you preferred to get with someone different, someone better?  You could if you had the chance, Soo, but you're just too nice to leave me."

 

"What—?  Baekhyun, you know that's not true," Kyungsoo persisted, his voice bounced off the corridor's walls as he chased after Baekhyun to the front door.  "Why are you being like this all of a sudden?"

 

"I've always been like this; an asshole that's frequently fucked senseless.  Why did it take you so long to figure out?"  Baekhyun chuckled dryly as he whirled around to face Kyungsoo.  "Y'know, maybe I'm just tired of this, tired of wondering when you'll leave me," he continued, cutting off Kyungsoo's attempt to speak, "Soo, hurry up and tell me that we're not going to work.  Hurry up and say we're done before it actually happens."  _It'll hurt less if you do._

 

"Baekhyun, I'm not leaving you.  I don't want to and I can’t," Kyungsoo said while reaching out slowly to hold Baekhyun's hand.  "It's not because I pity you.  Admit it, you're unhappy with your job, and I want to help you, not as your savior, but as someone who's going to stick beside you." 

 

"If you're willing to walk beside me and hold my hand then you're going to be unhappy like me.  I don't want that for you," Baekhyun shook his head, his words a whisper like a murmuring creek, "You won't be able to save me, you can't.  I don't understand why you keep on trying."

 

"You don't understand why I keep on trying?"  Kyungsoo said, his voice bled with bafflement, it was even sharp enough to leave Baekhyun with a gash, "Baek, has it ever came across to you that I'm doing this because I've fallen so hard for you?  How do you know I can't help you when all you've done is push my help away?  If I would be unhappy holding your hand, then I'd be devastated if you let go," his tone softened upon how taken aback Baekhyun was, "Baek... You're just hard to keep up with.  I don't know what's going on inside your head, where you'll go or what you'll do.  How am I supposed to catch you?"

 

Baekhyun raised his eyes from their downcast position to gaze at Kyungsoo's face one last time.  "You don't have to catch me, let me fall," he lifted Kyungsoo's hand and placed it against his heart.  "Let this die." 

 

And with that, Baekhyun left to wander under the sun that flickered out like a bulb to let the stars awaken, leaving Kyungsoo slumped against the door, his heart dimmer than the night sky blanketed by feathers crowds of clouds. 

 

«*»

 

"Is the camera on?"  Baekhyun asks as he prepares his bag of makeup while swatting away Kyungsoo's pestering hand.

 

"Uhh... I think so?"

 

"If there's a flashing red dot then that mean's it's recording."

 

"Oh, wait, found the button," Hyun says as she runs over to join her fathers sitting on the bed, "We're rollin' in three, two, one!"

 

"Hello my baby birds!"  Baekhyun directs his attention to the camera, "Welcome back to another makeup related video, although, I decided to do something different!  Today, instead of me doing makeup with narration and all that jazz, we have two volunteers—my lovely daughter and boyfriend—to do the job for me."

 

Hyun smiles as she waves to the camera, Kyungsoo does the same but much watered down. 

 

"Show more enthusiasm, babe," nudges Baekhyun to Kyungsoo.

 

"Do I have to?"

 

"Yeah, or no cuddling tonight."

 

Kyungsoo immediately sits up straight and has his own dawn breaking smile, eyes lilting into the moons that hover above his smile's early morning.  "Yes!  It is I, Kyungsoo, and I love being enthusiastic about this stick of lipstick—"

 

"That's mascara."

 

"Mascara!  Yes, I love mascara!"

 

"Looks like you got a lot of editing to do," Hyun remarks with a click of her tongue as she hands Baekhyun a box.

 

"In this box are slips of paper with a theme, whatever we get decides my face's faith," he rummages through the box and pulls out a folded slip, opens it up, reads it, and snorts.  He brings the paper up to the camera.  "Hello everybody!"  He greets with the worse Elmo impression ever, voice cracking midway, "It's ya' boy, Elmo."

 

Kyungsoo almost spits onto the camera lens as he breaks into a fit of laughter, toppling over while wrapping his arms around Baekhyun in attempt to take the latter down with him.  "Fu-Fucking, Elmo—!"

 

"Goddamit', Kyungsoo!  Now I have to censor your tardy mouth," Baekhyun glares at Kyungsoo who waves him a hand of apology.

 

"A-Alright, I'm calm," Kyungsoo huffs as he gets back up, pursing his lips to seal back the last giggle.  Anyway, how should we even do this?  Colour your entire face red?"

 

"We have spicy, hot Cheetos downstairs," Hyun suggests.

 

"No, guys, we're not rubbing Cheeto dust all over my face.  I can do that on my own spare time," Baekhyun says as he takes out the remaining cosmetic contents, "We could just so a normal first layer and do the rest with red and orange."

 

"Okay, so let’s start with this primer," Hyun mumbles as she picks up the bottle, "'m not too good at make up like you, dad.  Papa is probably less skilled than I am," she comments as she applies the liquid onto his face.  "Next is powder."

 

"I got this," Kyungsoo opens the compact, jams the brush into it, and slaps it across Baekhyun's face.  "Picasso ain't got nothin' on me... Hey—!  Stop laughing!"

 

"I can't help it. You got powder in my nose!"  Baekhyun giggles as he used his hand to flap away the flailing access powder.  He hasn't got a mirror to look in to, but he knows he probably looks like a caked snowman.  "You're so bad at this," he quips between laughs.

 

"Next is bronzer," Hyun grabs the compact, rubs her fingers into the mahogany contents, and applies it to the bottom of Baekhyun's cheeks.  "We gotta sharpen these cheekbones Angelina style."

 

"Why do you have this pink egg here?"  Questions Kyungsoo as he squishes the cherry sponge in his hand.

 

"Papa, that's a beauty blender.  You use it to blend makeup"

 

"You blend beauty with an egg?"  Kyungsoo asks rhetorically before prodding it against the bronzer.  "It's not blending."

 

"You gotta' rub it in."

 

Kyungsoo graces the beauty blender against Baekhyun's cheek more aggressively, ignoring the whines that spewed out of the latter lips as he finished the other cheek.  After finishing contouring the rest of his features— _"The jawline has to be as sharp as a knife!"_ Hyun had demanded as she rubbed more bronzer onto Baekhyun's jaw—they moved onto blush.

 

Kyungsoo pops open the compact and applies the scarlet blush.  Delicate brush strokes turn into hurricane swirls, leaving Baekhyun looking like a tomato.  "Wow, now the Elmo aesthetic is coming along nicely," Kyungsoo snorts at Baekhyun's dismay.

 

"I hate you."

 

"Love you, too, boo."

 

They skip the highlight, since Kyungsoo had accidentally dropped it all onto the ground, Hyun screaming at the beautiful mess known as the floor with dazzle, and they went on with lipstick. 

 

"Oops," Hyun says as she guides the wine red lipstick off the corner of Baekhyun's lip.  She decides to rub away the spot, failing as it becomes a large smudge.  "Yikes." 

 

Baekhyun tries not to scream, he closes his eyes and lets his voice howl internally.

 

"No, no, you're doing it wrong," Kyungsoo corrects her by taking hold of her hand that's holding the lipstick, and goes all over Baekhyun's mouth, making scribbles here and there everywhere; they end up laughing at the tomato now turned clown whose face is steamed red not because of the makeup.

 

"Here, let me give my prince a kiss," Baekhyun sing-songs, wraps his hands loftily around Kyungsoo, tilts his head, and attempts to slot their lips together.  Kyungsoo's reflexes kick in, it's his samurai spirit pulsing, and he turns his face away with his arms pushing Baekhyun away.  The ninja overpowers the samurai, and Kyungsoo is left with red smooch mark on his cheek, perhaps not as red as his face is.

 

Hyun moves on, right before her dads start their bicker-make outs, and applies vermillion eyeshadow.  She takes out two eyeliner pens and hands one to Kyungsoo.  "It's time for the fleek wing." 

 

She's able to create a decent wing, a little wonky at the corners but it's no match for Kyungsoo's legendary abomination.  His wing is drawn all the way up to Baekhyun's temple, it doesn't look like a sharp wing, but a thin flip-flop more so. 

 

"I think we're done, should we add anything else?"  Kyungsoo asks as he continues layering the eyeliner, creating black rings under Baekhyun's eye.

 

"Hm..."  Hyun's eyes advert elsewhere, as if looking at a wall would give her an idea.  "Oh wait!  I got it!"  She turns Baekhyun's head to face her so she can write 'Elmo's' on one eyelid and 'World' on the other.  "The masterpiece is finished."

 

"I feel like death."

 

"Stop, your offending Elmo," Kyungsoo says while failing to hold back a grin.

 

"I think you're enjoying this more than I am," Baekhyun remarks with a sigh, he feels annoyance as the Kyungsoo's eyeliner job still feels wet against his face.  "Okay, bring me a mirror."

 

Hyun nods, takes the mirror left on the side, and holds it in front of Baekhyun whose squeezing his eyes shut.  "I can't look at myself, it's horrible, I can’t!"  He whines with clench teeth, straining in that position before he finally lifts an eyelid open.  "Dammit', I looked!"  He cries as he cringes in disgust at his own reflection.  He takes the mirror from her hand and opens his other eye, a scowl forming on his face.  "Okay, so, this is making me reconsider my life choices," he turns his head to the side, "Like what kind of contour shading is that?  I look like a crusty muffin."  He laughs as he reads the words written bubbly on his eyelids, "What the hell?!  Why is my wing so tragic?  Why do I look so tragic?"

 

"You say tragic, we say Gucci," Hyun smiles as she points finger guns at the camera.

 

"You need to stop hanging out with Zitao, that's your uncle Sehun's job," Kyungsoo clicks his tongue, "Baek, she's right, you don't look half bad."

 

"You guys need to get your eyes checked," Baekhyun puckers his lips and dives in to give a surprise peck to Hyun's cheek.  He then turns to Kyungsoo and gives him a surprise smooch on the lips, giggling as he withdraws and sees the pink tint left on the latter's mouth.

 

"Gross!  Baekmo kissed me," she squeals as she tries to wipe off the lipstick, but to no avail as it spreads on her cheek.

 

"Anyway, that wraps up makeup Mondays with Baekhyunnie and friends!"  Baekhyun says as he waves to the camera, "Remember to like and subscriber for more content like this, and I'll see you next video!" 

 

They all cheer and bid their goodbyes.  Kyungsoo stands up, walks towards the camera, and wraps up the recording.

 

«*»

 

“We don’t really get into fights; it’s just bickering and mostly over stupid stuff but we make up in the end.  Well, he does the cuddling, but that’s not the point,” Kyungsoo rambled over the phone.

 

“So?  There’s a first for everything,” Sehun responded.

 

“Yeah, but it just didn’t feel right.  I should’ve handled it maturely so we could talk it out,” Kyungsoo sighed as he looked down at his hand, missing the warmth that occupied it on evenings like this.

 

“I dunno’, Soo, sometimes talking it doesn’t solve anything.  Sure, you guys will share what’s on your mind and settle things, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll find the solution,” Sehun said, “maybe time is what you need.  Just wait it out, give him a small break since he might need it, then do what you need to.”

 

“I’ve been giving him some space, but it’s been like two weeks and he’s ignored my calls and messages,” Kyungsoo exclaimed, the anger stemming from the pass neglecting he’d received had risen to the surface, but for the sake of his and Sehun’s friendship he kept it at bay.  “He won’t answer any of my tries to contact him, I’m getting stressed out over this, over him.”

 

“Sounds like your teenage crushes all over again,” Sehun recalled, trying to relieve the atmosphere’s tension.  “You should just march up to his apartment if you need to talk to him.”

 

“I just can’t leave Hyun home alone.  I don't want to drop her off at your's and Junmyeon's apartment either, you can't come over since distance, and I’m still upset over the other issue with Junmyeon.”

 

“He’s still sorry about it, won’t stop moping until you forgive him,” Sehun sighed, seeming just as tired as Kyungsoo was about the situation.  "Please forgive him already!  I'm tired of his weeping.  He's consuming all of my ice cream, even my secret stash!"

 

“Thanks for the update, but I’m still upset with him,” Kyungsoo remarked.  "Anyway, how's things with the co-worker you've been drooling about for a week?"

 

"Said co-worker has a name," Sehun retorted, his hostile tone took a turn to one of fluster, Kyungsoo could hear the latter's rare shy smiles form.  "He's really great, handsome, funny, and a real big dork!  But I teased him about his fear of toasters once, y'know he's scared of the noise when the bread pops up, and he almost whooped my ass with his martial arts."

 

"Ugh, you talking like that disgusts me, hurry up and ask him out."

 

"I can’t!  I don't even know if he's gay!"  Sehun whined as Kyungsoo laughed at his frustration, "It's not funny!  It's such a crisis that your knife throwing won't help me this time."

 

Kyungsoo snapped his head towards the sound of the doorbell ringing.  “There’s someone at the door, gotta’ go, talk to you later,” he said while hanging up.  Once he made it over to the front door and opened it, his body froze on spot, rigid with a sudden frost foreign to the summer’s day.  “…Baekhyun?”

 

Baekhyun stared at him, hand outstretching towards Kyungsoo, but faltered and withdrew halfway.  His mouth slacked, clamping back shut to trap the words that dared escape.  Before Kyungsoo could speak, Baekhyun pushed past him, the suitcase rolling behind him captured Kyungsoo's attention.  Once they made it to the dining room, Baekhyun dumped a bag of money onto the table.

 

"What's with all this money?!"  Kyungsoo gaped as the rolled-up bills piled onto the table.  "Baekhyun, answer me, please."

 

With his back facing Kyungsoo, Baekhyun hadn't uttered a word.  Even after the rain of money had ended he stood still, the steady heave of his shoulders was the only clue Kyungsoo received to know he was alive.  "Money from my clients, I cut ties with them.  Also, money from my apartment.  I sold it," he muttered, "This is all I owe you for everything from here and on."  With that, he was already heading back towards the door.

 

Kyungsoo ran after him, stopping him with a hand grabbing the latter's free one.  "Baekhyun, you sold your apartment?  Why?  I told you already that you don't owe me anything.  What you do owe me is an explanation," halfway through Kyungsoo's last sentence the answer Baekhyun wouldn't say began clicking in his mind; the suitcase, the money from his sold apartment and ex-clients, the ignoring, what 'from here and on' meant.  "You—No... No, Baekhyun, Baekhyun, please," Kyungsoo rasped, swallowing to coat his dried throat.  "You can't just do that.  You can't just pop into my life then leave the way you came." 

 

A second he felt tears assembling at the corner his eyes to slide down his warm cheeks, gasping for the breath of air his lungs could not take.  Then, the next second he's wrapped in Baekhyun's embrace.  It's a constricting hug that suffocated him further, but without it he doubted he'd be able to stand.  "You can't just leave me, Baek, don't leave me right when I need you," his sobs were muffled as he buried his face in dip of Baekhyun's shoulder, near his neck where the loving warmth was slipping out of his hands.

 

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun murmured into his ear, repeating those words as if they'd be able to save anything.  They didn't.  "I decided that we... I needed a break," he carded his fingers through Kyungsoo's hair while pressing long lasting kisses onto his head, his own tears ran and stained the collar of Kyungsoo's shirt.  "I'm so sorry."  He brought Kyungsoo's head up so he could slot their lips together, their kiss was slow paced as both of their lips persisted to quiver.

 

"Where are you even going with that suitcase?"  Kyungsoo breathed against the other male's lips, "and for how long?"

 

"I can't tell you," Baekhyun replied, pressing their lips together again as an apology.  "If you want me to come back then wait for me.  If you decide along the way that a guy like me isn't worth waiting for, then it's okay to move on, I'll love you even if you leave me behind." 

 

Their kiss was lengthy, filled with needy hands and soft murmuring.  Once they parted, it seemed that Baekhyun was ready to leave.  Kyungsoo's hands still clung onto his shirt, another desperate grab, another plead.  "I let go of you once.  Don't make me lose you twice."

 

"Love you," Baekhyun crooned, planting a feathery kiss against Kyungsoo's forehead, trailing down between his eyes, to the bridge of his nose, then back to his puffy lips.  He then took a step back, hung his head to take off the canary necklace, and put it around Kyungsoo’s neck.  “You look better with it than I do.” 

 

After that, he walked out of the door, sparing Kyungsoo one last glance with a small smile on his cherry, swollen lips, then left.

 

"Where did daddy go?"  Hyun asked him, tugging at his shirt when his daze refused to leave his mind.  "Papa, where did daddy go?"

 

Her repeated words reactivated the gears in Kyungsoo's mind, slowly bringing him back to the real world and helping him process that the scenario he'd hoped to be a fantasy was real.  He brought Hyun into a hug.  "I don't know, baby," he whispered while squeezing tighter, another sob broke through the walls he tried to rebuild, "I don't know."

 

«*»

 

Baekhyun had stopped editing the video halfway through.  While his fingers clacked against the keyboard and his eyes staring at the bad edit he was making in photoshop that involved Elmo's body and his face, a vague thought had graced his mind's prairie.  It started harmless, a single dandelion, but as the wind carried the weed's seeds away, the dandelion thoughts began to spread rapidly.  Soon, his mind consisted of nothing but it.

 

 He can't quite tell what the blossoming thought was, really, when he contemplates his ideas are thrown all over the place.  But it keeps him solemn, his only light brightening the dark comes from his laptop.  There was the moon, too, but the curtains were drawn, deciding that the moon wouldn't invade his privacy tonight.  Even for a predictable guy like him, he does need privacy.

 

"Thinking about something?"  Asks warm, husky voice.  The owner of said voice sits beside him, the couch's mattress dipping under his weight.

 

"What makes you think that?"  Questions Baekhyun, mustering some kind of smile as he turns to face Kyungsoo.

 

"You're staring deeply at that picture of your face slapped onto Elmo's body," Kyungsoo points out, "Either your thinking about something or I'm missing the artistic message from this disaster."

 

"Well, for starters, my face itself is beauty, Elmo is beauty.  Beauty multiplied by beauty equals a beautiful outcome."

 

"But zero times zero is still zero."

 

Baekhyun pouts, wrinkling his nose with hurt as he pushes Kyungsoo back.  "Better than your negative integer looks."

 

"But a negative and a positive still make a negative," Kyungsoo remarks, smirking as Baekhyun groans at his educated come back.  "My math comebacks conquer."

 

"Off with my head, please, this isn't a suggestion it's a demand," Baekhyun mutters as he rubs his tired eyes.  He sighs, "I've just been thinking.  Not sure what, though, maybe I'm just getting old."

 

"Late thirties isn't old, Baek."

 

"But we're not getting any younger, Soo'," Baekhyun murmurs, saving what he's done so far and closing the laptop.  "I can already feel my metabolism failing.  My back is breaking and I've got wrinkly flabs."

 

"Stick in there, old potato sack, your daughter and boyfriend still need you around," Kyungsoo teases as he scoots closer.  "Anyway, while we're on the topic of getting old, I was thinking that maybe we could do something together."

 

Baekhyun quirks a brow at him.  "Like what?"

 

"I think..."  Kyungsoo began, outstretching the word, "we should go on a vacation.  With work and life, we barely have enough time for each other.  On weekdays, I've got teaching, I come home and do lesson plans or marking and that usually ends around six o'clock.  You have work on weekdays, come home around seven o'clock.  We eat dinner, then go straight to bed because we're so tired.  On weekends, you record videos, sometimes they call you in, and sometimes Junmyeon or Sehun get involved," he says, "it's just hectic."

 

It hadn't quite come to Baekhyun that their daily hassles where getting involved with their own time together.  However, there was a thought that dangled on his tongue, "We've been living like this for years.  Why did this just come to you now?"

 

"I don't know," Kyungsoo shrugs.  "Maybe I just miss us."

 

"We live under the same roof, Soo.  Even with work and stuff I still see you every day."

 

"Yeah, but when have we ever really done something by ourselves?"  Kyungsoo says as he slips his hand into Baekhyun's and slots his fingers between the gaps.  It fits so well, perhaps their hands were meant to be, Baekhyun thinks.  "If we went on a vacation, just a week max, we could leave Hyun with Seulgi and Junmyeon."

 

"I don't know, Soo, that sounds complicated."

 

"We don't have to do anything big.  We could just keep it simple; going out to eat, walks in the park, skating if you're up to it, or maybe catching a movie at the theaters," Kyungsoo's eyes adverts from their hands to Baekhyun's face, "I think there's a good movie we could watch right now.  Theater's still open."

 

"Do Kyungsoo," Baekhyun scoffs, his voice layered with a sarcastic accent.  However, a longer smile finds its way to his lips again.  He feels upbeat, the locusts in his chest have morphed into butterflies and are singing a spunky melody.  "Did you just ask me out on a date?"

 

"W-Well," a rosy flush sizzles away at Kyungsoo's ears, "Only if you want to."

 

Baekhyun opens his mouth to respond with something cheeky, but the sound of Hyun's thundering footsteps stir up a storm in their cozy atmosphere. 

 

"Dad, Papa, we need to talk," she announces with a letter in her hand.

 

Baekhyun's eyes widen as his focus centers to said letter.  His blood runs cold at the sight of something he'd wish never to see again in the flesh.  Kyungsoo seems to have sense his dread as the grip of their interlocked hands tightens.  "Hyun," he says, almost cautions, "Where did you find that?"

 

"Okay, I'm sorry for being nosy and looking through your stuff, dad.  But I left something in your room after we finished recording, and I went back to get it," Hyun explains before pointing at the letter, "But then I accidentally found this.  So, could you tell me what this is?  Dad, I want you to be honest with me like we promised." 

 

"Did... Did you read it?"  Baekhyun asks instead if answering, his voice is quieter compared to his hammering heart.

 

"Yes, and I'm sorry about that, too.  But, I think I should have the right to know the things you've kept hidden from me."

 

"Hyun, give me that letter.  I can't do this right now."

 

"Why not?!"  She bursts, "Is it too much for you to tell me what it's about?  I want to know the truth."

 

"Hyun," he repeats, voice stiff as his posture, "Give back the letter."

 

"Why won't you just tell me where I came from?  Dad, I'm not a kid, I've matured," Hyun persists, pacing a few steps back, "I think after figuring out that I'm not really your daughter was the first sign of that.  Tell me who my mom and dad were.  If my dad is gone then what about my mom?"

 

"This isn't the time, baby, I can't tell you because I know you can't handle it," Baekhyun says as he steps closer to her, an arm outstretches and prepares to snatch the letter.  "You'll do dangerous things if I did."

 

"Like what?"  Hyun glowers at him, causing him to falter back as he isn't familiar with her relentless anger, let alone targeted at him.  "Is it such a bad idea that I want to know who they were?  Is it a bad idea that I want to find them, find how my dad died and my mom's whereabouts?  Why can't you just trust and tell me?  I don't understand why you have to—"

 

"Hyun!"  Baekhyun growls, it's her turn to falter at such a brute snare she's never seen.  Hell, he can't recall the last time he'd blown off steam like this, but he knows why he refuses to get angry often; it's such a strong emotion that doesn't feel right to him, it doesn't feel like himself.  "Give me the letter, now, and after that I'm going to ground you."

 

"What?  Why?!  For what, wanting to know something?"  The questions spill out of her lips, her widened eyes shifts into a glare as she steps back again, her back against the front door.  She huffs as Baekhyun refuses to answer again.  "Fine!  I'll stop asking," she spites as her free hand unlocks the door and creaks it open, "I'll just find out myself."  Just like that, the wings of independence cloaks her figure as she dashes out the door.

 

Baekhyun takes too long to process the situation, but once he does it’s too late for her name to be called.  It’s a sinking feeling in his stomach; a bird shot down from lilac skies and peachy clouds.  He runs out the door without thinking, he just wants to make sure they don’t hit the jagged ground. 

 

The winter’s breath cuts into his skin that’s bare—he only has shirt and sweatpants on—the faint call of his name spews out of Kyungsoo’s lips, but he pays no mind to it and follows the sneaker imprints trailing across the snow.  For an urban area that they live in, it doesn’t seem to be busy as the night brings fear they know too well. 

 

Their fear is not like his fear, and as his shoes trudges through the snow, his breath ragged and perspiration running like ice down his face, fear drenched with regret and worry accompany him.  It knocks on his door, which it rarely ever did, and pays him an unwelcome visit.

 

He grunts as his footing slips across a platform of hidden ice, tumbles, and falls with his knees hitting the ground first.  Limping up with a huff, he tries to forget the buzzing pain and the frigid dampness on his knees as he keeps on going.  The few people whom he dashes by murmur quiet remarks, they consider him a birdbrain, he knows.

 

His gaze leaves the ground once the footprints he was tacking down come to an end, buried along with others of both fresh and old.  His lungs ache for hair, causing him to bend forward and rest his palms against his knees, but even as he places a hand over his mouth it does nothing to warm the chilling air that feels like rust against his lungs.  Panic spreads from his brain to the rest of his body, he doesn’t much feel it as the numbness from the cold has done its best. 

 

“You’re insane,” Baekhyun whips

his head to the voice behind him, only to find a jacket wrap itself around him.  “Absolutely crazy,” Kyungsoo breaths as zips up the jacket, sparing no time to let Baekhyun slip his arms through the sleeves.  Kyungsoo stares at Baekhyun’s chattering teeth, or lips, or both.  Kyungsoo takes off his scarf, wraps it around Baekhyun, and tugs the latter in for a quick peck on the forehead.  “And you wonder why I worry.”

 

“’m sorry,” Baekhyun smiles, noticing how Kyungsoo’s face and ears burn red as his chest heaves for air.  “Have you been running around?”

 

“Yeah, if I didn’t then I’d find you trapped in an ice cube,” Kyungsoo huffs as he shoves his red hands into his pocket.  “C’mon, let’s go find Hyun.”

 

Baekhyun frowns with furrowed eyebrows, “I don’t know where she’s gone and she left without a coat, too.”

 

“Don’t worry, I brought another jacket,” Kyungsoo reassures while cocking his head to the spare coat hanging between his arm and waist.  “Now, let’s go try to find her together.”

 

Baekhyun purses his lips as if thinking before nodding and catching up to Kyungsoo, synchronizing their footsteps in the process.  “I think we should check the park first,” he suggests while huddling close to Kyungsoo’s side for extra warmth.

 

“Do you think she might be there?”

 

“Possibly, possibly not,” Baekhyun finds a grin rise lopsided on his face, “It’s just my—“ the grin wipes itself off as he feels his footing slip again, but instead of meeting face-to-face with the concrete, Kyungsoo’s grasp rescues him and brings him to a stand.

 

“And here I thought you only slip in the rink,” Kyungsoo mutters, his hands still hold onto Baekhyun’s arm, trailing down to hold onto his hand, the contact is chilling but Baekhyun doubts his own hand is any warmer.

 

“It’s just my seventh sense’s speculation,” he finishes his sentences while interlocking their fingers together.  His grin returns from its hiding place, cheekier this time, “My ninja sense has evolved, y’know?”

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo sighs, “I should’ve let you fall on the ice.  Maybe if you hit your head you’d get future vision.”

 

Once they make it to the entrance of the park, Baekhyun already begins searching and dashes inside, careful this time for ice.  Kyungsoo trails right behind him, just in case the latter ends up tripping again.  No one ever visits the park at night, except for the homeless who slept on the benches under crafted blankets, so it couldn’t have been an issue to find Hyun.

 

“Wait, who’s that over there?”  Baekhyun points to the figure sitting on one of the benches, with their legs tucked against their chest, under the marigold glow of the streetlight.

 

As they get closer, they’re able to identify the figure as Hyun.  Baekhyun’s pace slows, he doesn’t think rushing up to her and hauling her back home would do any good.  She seems tired, her eyes hovering above to gaze at the night’s kingdom ridden with stars that gather like knights sworn to protect.  Her heads snap towards Baekhyun as the bench creaks under his weight, Kyungsoo joins to sit beside him.

 

Hyun seems to have blaring alarms jolt her system awake, and she’s ready to leap out of her seat and run away again.  But before she could try, Baekhyun places his hand on her shoulder, a plead for her to stay with him.  The grip is light enough for her to shake it off and run, but, she seems to get a message unsaid, causing her to sit back down.

 

“How… did you find me?”  She asks, whispering a thanks as Kyungsoo hands her a coat and Baekhyun unwraps his scarf and envelopes it around her. 

 

“Just a guess, ninja sense,” Baekhyun says, feeling relieved as Hyun chuckles.   

 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles while burying her face into the scarf, “I just got really frustrated.  Here,” she nudges the letter towards him.

 

Baekhyun opens his hands to take it, hesitates, then stops.  “No, it’s alright, I should’ve trusted you,” he pushes the letter back to her, “this was from your dad, meant for me, but I want you to keep it since you don’t have anything to remember him by.”

 

“...You’re my dad, now.  Even if I had a previous it doesn’t change the fact that I love you as one,” she says while folding the letter and putting it in her pocket.  “What about my mom?”

 

“She died after giving birth to you,” he says slowly, just in case calm waters turn into wild waves, he lets out a breath as the coast is clear.  “I don’t know much about her because of old spit.  But from what your first dad told me, she was a good—no, beautiful person.  We could’ve been good friends.”

 

“You can get along with anyone just fine, but I guess she must’ve been something if you thought you could’ve been friends,” Hyun looks at him, “What was… It’s kinda’ weird to say ‘first dad’ or ‘Baekbom’… but what was he like?”

 

“He was a pretty serious person, but if you knew how to do it then you could bring a bit of dork out of him,” Baekhyun smiles, and it’s quite peculiar as he’d never been so happy thinking about Baekbom.  “He loved you a lot, and it may seem questionable knowing that he left you in my care, but he really did love you.”

 

Hyun nods, letting the information become attach to her.  She stares back at the sky before standing up.  “Thank you,” she says while looking at them after rubbing her eyes, “okay, let’s go home now.”

 

Both get up from the bench, hustle over to Hyun and embraces her into a hug before heading back home.  The winter night didn’t seem cold as they walked across the ivory sheet of snow.

 

«*»

 

Two years of Baekhyun’s absence had passed by.  The papers of the calendar ripped off one by one by Kyungsoo’s hands, wondering when his hands would start feeling Baekhyun’s skin and love instead of paper and time; both slipped out of his fingers just as water from a spout, flowing into the drain before he could retrieve it.

 

He hadn’t spent those past two years alone, he had Sehun, Hyun and Junmyeon, whom he’d reconciled with, by his side to support him.  But even with sincere company, at the end of the day he found himself wrapped and gripping onto the sheets, wishing a certain someone would envelope himself around him instead.  The next morning, after those spiraling thoughts, he’d always wake up alone with a smile, said smile would bend once realizing that his dreams stayed dreams.

 

“Got everything?”  Kyungsoo asked as he readjusted Hyun’s hat.

 

“I think so,” Hyun said as held onto the straps of her backup, her lip jutted out as she pondered.  “Mhm, I got my sleeping bag, pajamas, toothbrush, and a board game in case we don’t have anything to do.”

 

“What game?”

 

_“Snakes and Ladders!”_

 

“Good job,” Kyungsoo chuckled as he tickled her cheek, “but are you sure you’re not forgetting anything?”  His question caused her to think harder, an amused smile remains on his face, “Here, I have what you forgot.”

 

“What?”  She asked as she hopped forward.

 

Kyungsoo pressed a quick kiss against her cheek, Hyun squealed as she squirmed away from his tickle-hug.  “Have fun.  See you on Monday,” he said as he put her down, waving back to her as she trotted into Hangdong’s house.

 

Once he returned home, he flopped onto the bed, huffing in exhausting as he embraced the A.C and chill of his untouched duvet.  He checked his phone.  There were no new messages.  Summer time did get people into a frenzy since it meant more time for freedom, to go out.  Kyungsoo never found enjoyment in doing things like that.  He preferred quiet activities; an atmosphere that made him relaxed.  But he found it strange how his eyes never left the laptop on the desk, whenever he walked into the room it just happened.  He's not relaxed.

 

Baekhyun's laptop didn't have a password so it was accessible, but a fear always pulled him back from investigating.  Two years have weakened the fear; curiosity had prevailed and slain the beast.  He got up and walked over to the laptop, waiting for the screen to turn on.  Once it did, a picture of himself which he hadn't remembered Baekhyun taking—he appeared to be checking out the nutrition label of cereal boxes at a grocery store—appeared as the desktop's wallpaper. 

 

There were files scattered everywhere; videos, pictures, documents, all of which did not concern him, so, he did not lurk.  What made him scroll the cursor was the video file titled _'For Kyungsoo 07.22.15'_.  The date on the file's name was the same as today.  With furrowed brows, Kyungsoo clicked on it.

 

The video's browser opened and Baekhyun's face as he adjusted the camera was the first thing Kyungsoo saw, sparking solemn fondness in his chest as the camera focused and he got a better view of the latter.

 

"Kyungsoo, if you're watching this after I left, I'm sorry," Baekhyun said as he leaned back on the couch, he was in his old apartment.  "If you're watching this hoping for answers because I was a coward to not give you any, then I'm sorry again."  He gnawed on his lip before sighing, "I'm planning on enlisting in the military to do my two years’ service.  I'm going because I'm still thinking about what you said, and you're right, always are.  But, Soo, I don't know where to go or what to do.  That's why I'm going to enlist to clear my head with training and drills.  When I come back I want to be able to make you happy, make the both of us happy.  Even if that means I'll come back searching for a shitty job."

 

The camera is taken from its place, recording the ground and Baekhyun's pacing steps before being flipped and focusing back to his face.  "I'm a bit nervous," he admitted with a chuckle, "I'm gonna' leave you and cut you off for two years because if I ever saw your face while I'm afar, then you bet I'd come running back," he lifted the camera up to his face, using one hand to card through his hair, "The video's title has the date I'll return, if you want to see me then I'll be at the train station.  But by now you'd found someone else, but that's okay if they make you smile," he smiled before blowing a kiss to the camera, "love you."

 

Kyungsoo closed the laptop and rubbed at his eyes, biting back a smile that won't stop until it carved through his cheeks.  His mind is too jumbled to process what he's doing, but his feet carry him around the house, out the door, and find new interest in roaming against the burgundy cobble of the train station.  He should've though it through, but as he paced back and forth, eyes reading the departure and return times, thinking it through were the least of his worries.

 

With every train that stops by, Kyungsoo is peering over the crowd in hopes of finding a certain individual.  After three scuttling crowds, he's ready to look through the fourth, then fifth, then sixth.  It's on the eight that he decided to rest on the bench and let time fly. Doubt started to crawl out if its corner.  "What if he's not coming back?"  He breathed, checking his phone every now and then to check the time.

 

The staccato rumbling of another train resonates by, screeching as it halts to a stop.  Kyungsoo looked up from his phone to watch the swarm of people exit the doors.  Huffing, he stood up and wandered into the crowd, searching with less energy as he stationed himself in one area instead of roaming.  The crowd finally disperses, leaving the ship of disappointment to sink in his gut.  As the train prepared to leave, the door suddenly open and a man tumbled out while voicing his apologies. 

 

The man hauls his suitcase and it skids behind him.  He was clad in quite fashionable clothing, could've been mistaken for a model if it weren't for the awkward buzzcut hairstyle that didn't match the dazzling theme of his clothes.  However, the man was far too familiar, and without thinking Kyungsoo ran over to him.  The sudden hug caused the man to yelp in surprise and almost topple over. 

 

"K-Kyungsoo?"  The man sputtered while returning the hug, squeezing tight before letting go.  His hands traveled from Kyungsoo's waist to his face, caressing them while.  "This is you, right?  You're really here?  Punch me, I need to make sure it's really you."

 

"Baekhyun, I'm really here," Kyungsoo said after landing a blow to the male's side.  His tears began swelling into jewels that glimmered under the station's lighting.  They rolled down but Baekhyun rubbed them away with his thumbs, his fingertips were warm, the touch relieving the tension in Kyungsoo's cheeks and allowed him to smile.

 

"But why?"  Baekhyun asked with kitted brows.

 

"Because I wanted to see you," Stated Kyungsoo, rolling his eyes as Baekhyun's face went from realization to smug.  "But with that buzzcut you have I guess I should've found someone else."

 

"Is it really that bad?"  Baekhyun pouted, honest hurt clouded his eyes.

 

"No, no, it’s not," Kyungsoo reassured him as he ran a hand through his short hair.  "It feels nice, I can't wait to rub it every day until you grow your hair back."  Saying this made the sun shine bright in Baekhyun's eyes, a smile rising higher than the ball of light could.  To seize the moment, Kyungsoo closed the gap between them and connected their lips together.  It might've been strange as a bystander to watch two men hold each other as if they'd die tomorrow, but neither of them payed mind to the leering.

 

Kyungsoo's hands traveled to the small of Baekhyun's back.  As they parted, Baekhyun remained leaning to rest their foreheads against each other.  "I'm sorry for leaving," he whispered, his warm breath brushed Kyungsoo's lips.

 

"I'm sorry for not being to help you," Kyungsoo murmured, rubbing his fingers against the fabric of Baekhyun's shirt, "I'm sorry for not being enough."

 

"You were more than enough.  I just thought I needed more."

 

"Well, do you have all you need?"

 

"Yeah," Baekhyun said while closing the space between, Kyungsoo flickered his eyes up and stared at his reflection in the latter's glassy eyes, Baekhyun was doing the same.  "It's right here."

 

«*»

 

Baekhyun lies in his bed, eyes droop from fatigue but he can't seem to succumb and sleep.  He tossed and turns, mindful not to disturb Kyungsoo, before settling that lying on his back feels decent.  He sighs as he raises his bare hand, bathed in the night's aquatic light, in the air and examines it, turns it back and forth, wriggles his fingers around while squinting as if his gaze would fill up something empty; such concept is vague.

 

"I can hear you thinking.  What's with you and thinking nowadays?" Kyungsoo grumbles as he rolls over to face Baekhyun, his eyes are fluttered shut.  "Go to sleep."

 

"Can't," Baekhyun responds as he continues to stare at his hand.  "Don't feel like it."

 

Kyungsoo sighs while rubbing his eyes, letting them flutter open.  "If you can't sleep then I can't sleep.  You make too much noise."

 

"Sorry," Baekhyun says.  He drops his hand, rolls to face Kyungsoo, and gives him a cheeky grin.

 

"You don't seem sorry," Kyungsoo mutters as he moves closer to wrap an arm around Baekhyun's waist.  He tucks his head in.  "Sleep."

 

Baekhyun hums and ignored the demand.  He inches closer into the embrace, tilting his head to plant his lips against the crown of Kyungsoo's head.  "Remember the time I asked you to marry me after you brought the bag of baby-pro supplies?"

 

Kyungsoo doesn't reply, stays still, his breathing fills in the silence, Baekhyun proposes the male is asleep so he brings the blanket and drapes it over the latter's shoulder.  "Yeah, the second time we met.  It was weird," Kyungsoo responds, "what about?"

 

"Well, I-I've been thinkin' a lot... and I probably should have done it sooner, but y-you know me," Baekhyun starts tentative, stuttering with nervousness, "I'm 99% sure I mean it now.  The 1% is there just in case you say no."

 

Kyungsoo's breath hitches as he lifts his head to look up at Baekhyun with widened eyes.  His lips part, trembling as they try to find sentences to form, but he ends up sealing the gap and nodding vigorously.  "Yes," he chokes as he shifts his position to lay on top of Baekhyun.  He pushes him into the mattress with deep kisses and the words 'yes' spilling out like their tears mixing together. 

 

It's not that they've never thought about it; the thought appeared but never taken into consideration.  But tying the end of the red string to Kyungsoo's pinky was the best decision, Baekhyun thinks as he loops his arms around Kyungsoo's neck for a breather, laughing like an idiot as they part, no farther than an inch from each other.

 

The Phoenix had found its answer for freedom, for love, for moving on from the past.  The shackles were pecked and burnt as the brazen wings of awakened flames scorched away its sadness along with its savior.  Spiraling to the ground with wings that could no longer fly, the crow was caught by the phoenix before hitting the ground. 

 

Perhaps this is what the crow needed; a purpose, a reason to wander, and a reason to stay.  Taking the risk, the crow had rescued the Phoenix, losing its wings and heart to golden feathers.  The spark that dwindled for so long erupted into a fire, breathing in the air that once was suffocating.  Having grown attached to the crow, the phoenix spent its life with the crow.  Wherever the crow wanted to go, the Phoenix would take them there, they'd fly together through lavender skies.


End file.
